


Love Isn't Easy

by HollowHearted



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alpha Alby, Alpha Gally, Alpha Minho, Alpha Thomas, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Beta Teresa, Eventual Romance, Gally's an asshole, M/M, Newt's a sweetheart, Omega Newt, Patient Thomas, Protective Thomas, Scared Newt, Slow Burn, Virgin Newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:38:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 40,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13387968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowHearted/pseuds/HollowHearted
Summary: Newt is an omega who was sold by his parents to a dealer at a young age to pay off their debts. Thomas is an alpha who disagrees with the way omegas are treated. A day in town proves to be the beginnings of a love story.





	1. Denver

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! For those of you who are reading my other story, don't worry, I'll be updating them both frequently. :) This first chapter is really short because it's midnight and I'm too tired to write more, and future chapters will be in first person POV. I prefer writing that way and I'm too lazy to go back and change this one. ;P

Thomas hated going into Denver. He hated it. It meant seeing omegas being treated like scum, kicked around and molested by people who called themselves alphas. What had the world come to? There was a time when alphas and omegas had been precious to each other, on the same level. Equals. Not anymore, though.

It was just his rotten luck that where he needed to be in the city was right across the street from the omega auction yards, where they were harassed and sometimes raped before being auctioned off to wealthy alphas who would take them home and abuse them for the rest of their lives (or until they got tired of them and brought them back to sell off).

Deep down he wanted a proper relationship with an omega, but with the way alphas treated omegas, the omegas knew not to trust any alpha for any reason. He'd never be able to win one over. The closest thing he had to a relationship was his close friendship with Teresa. She was a very pretty, kind beta who lived with him in return for keeping house. She'd been living on the streets when Thomas met her. He couldn't just leave her there ill and helpless on the curb.

The carriage stopped in front of the law office and Thomas practically bolted for the door, trying not to hear the catcalls and whimpers from across the street.

"Ah, Thomas. Good to see you," Minho said, rising from his seat behind the desk.

"How can you stand working across the street from that?"

"Hey, easy there tiger. It's just as hard for me as it is for you."

Once Thomas had calmed down they went over the legal paperwork transferring Thomas's inheritance from his father's accounts. It took a long time and at the end of it he was ready to go home and sleep for two weeks. He went outside for some air and waited for the carriage. 

That's when he happened to look across the street. On the raised platform where dealers showcased their omega goods that was nearest to him, a beautiful blonde boy who couldn't have been more than 14. Tears were streaming down his face as the dealer groped his naked body, showing off the little omega's "attributes". 

"Untouched virgin, this one! And not only that, he's got a pretty face," the dealer shouted, forcing the boy to lift his chin. "Shall we start the bidding at 500?"

It was immediately offered. Thomas hurried to join the crowd. He wasn't letting anyone hurt that poor innocent boy, even if it cost him the entirety of his inheritance.

After heatedly bidding, Thomas was declared the owner of the boy. He hated that word with a passion. But at least the boy was safe. Thomas could take him home and he could live with him and Teresa, unless he had somewhere else to go.

But now he had to go and get him. He went towards the dealer's tent. The boy was drug towards him, now clad in disgustingly revealing, flashy clothing. He was pale and looked like he might faint at any second. The dealer handed Thomas the length of thin chain attached to the boy's collar. Thomas felt ill. 

"Here you are. Enjoy him!" 

Thomas didn't reply, just handed over the money and took the end of the chain and provided key to the lock of the collar. "In case you want to change it." the man had said. Beast fit better than man.

Thomas led the boy to the carriage, trying not to notice the way he was trembling violently.

The boy looked terrified, even paler now. Thomas was sure dark thoughts were running through the poor boy's head. He drew the curtains, his intention being that the boy would feel safer than he would exposed to the glance of anyone around the carriage.

The alpha moved to sit beside the boy. A tear slipped down the omega's cheek. Poor thing. Hopefully removing the collar would alleviate some of his fears. He was surprised when he moved back to his own seat, taking the collar with him, that the boy started crying. Had he done something wrong? No, the boy was probably just terrified sick, and Thomas couldn't blame him. He sat beside the boy again, putting his arms around him, just holding him. 

"Shhh, little one, no one is going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you," he soothed. Poor boy. He'd soon realize Thomas meant him no harm, Thomas hoped. His arms around him weren't groping him or crushing him, they were just there, to comfort him. "Don't cry now, little one. You're perfectly safe. I'm not going to....take you. I'm not. You're safe."

Thomas cuddled the little omega until he'd cried himself to sleep in his arms, exhausted from the stress, humiliation, and fear. When they reached his home he carried the boy inside and up to one of the many bedrooms. It wasn't far from Thomas's, so that the boy wouldn't be too far away if he needed Thomas, but it also wasn't close enough to frighten the boy. He laid him in bed and tucked the blankets up to his chin. The blonde nuzzled into the pillow and turned onto his side. Thomas smiled. Yes, he was going to take good care of this poor little omega.


	2. The Mansion

I woke up feeling very comfortable, but a little cold. I looked around sleepily. The room was richly furnished and decorated with reds and golds. It was beautiful. I was completely alone, and I hadn't been taken against my will. That made me feel a bit better about the situation. 

I heard a soft knock at the door and jumped up to open it. It was my alpha master. As much as I hated thinking that way, the sooner I taught myself to get used to it, the less trouble I would get in. I ducked my head respectfully.

"No need for that," he said, kindly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, sir, thank you," I replied, hoping I'd said the right thing.

"Good, I'm glad. You can call me Thomas. What's your name?"

"Newt." I waited for the laugh and ridicule. 

"I like it. Would you rather breakfast and then shower or the other way round, Newt?"

Breakfast? Shower? What?

"I-Whatever you wish, Thomas," I said, barely remembering in time that he'd said to call him that and not sir. 

"Newt, you are not some sort of sex slave. I'm not going to hurt you, or punish you for having your own opinion." He sounded a bit angry, then his voice softened. "I...look, I just wanted to help, okay? You can have a shower if you feel like it, or not. It's up to you." 

I nodded, a teensy bit frightened. If he didn't want me for my body, what did he want me for?

"To get to the dining room, go this way down the hall, down the stairs, and across that hall." He pointed the correct direction. "The shower is through that door in your room. If you do decide on that first, take your time and enjoy it."

"Thank you," I said. 

"Don't mention it. I'll see you later, Newt." He smiled and strode off down the hall. "Oh, I'll see if Teresa or I have some clothes that would fit you," he said, turning to walk backwards. 

"Thank you," I said again. Just as I thought he was going to fall backwards down the stairs and was about to call out, he turned around and jogged down them. I closed the door slowly and went into the shower. Teresa must be his mate. Or concubine, like myself. Or was I a concubine? I puzzled over the matter in the shower. 

Coming out who knew how long later, I felt much better. The warm water had been heavenly. I had been dunked in a tub of cold water and half-hearted scrubbed with a rag before my auction, but that hadn't done much good, just left me shivering even more and made my teeth chatter. 

I dressed again in the clothes the dealer had given me, unsure what else to do. Thomas had mentioned clothes, but they weren't here, so....

I went downstairs, wondering what I'd get for breakfast. A glass of water, hopefully. 

Pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and a pot of tea were laid out for Thomas, who hadn't touched them, too busy reading a piece of paper. He looked upset. I waited in the doorway for instructions.

He looked up a moment later. "Have a seat, and help yourself. There's no way I'll be able to eat all this on my own." He gave me a somewhat sad smile. "My friend Teresa made this as a farewell breakfast. She's gone to make a new life with her boyfriend Aris, according to this note. That's a shame. Not that I'm not happy for her, I just could've used her help settling in. This was my father's house, you see. I inherited it when he died a few weeks ago."

"I'm sorry," I said, hesitantly taking a pancake and a few pieces of bacon from the platters. 

"Thank you," he said. "We weren't all that close. I moved out when...well, I moved out." The expression on his face made it clear that something bad had happened and he didn't want to talk about it. "You would've liked Teresa. Beta, sixteen or seventeen. Very sweet girl."

"She sounds very nice." 

"She is. She's my best friend, actually. Now that she's gone I expect I'll have to hire servants." He sighed. "I've got a coachman and a couple stablehands, but I don't really want to have a whole bunch of people feeling like their lives revolve around looking after me. I can do some of the work myself, but I have my own work to do, so it complicates things."

An idea struck me. "I could work around the house. I'm a fairly good cook and I can clean and mend things," I said, a bit excited. That would be fun. I liked having something to do. But then again...oops. "Unless you already have plans for me, of course," I tacked on, ducking my head.

"No, I don't. But I also won't force you to work for me, if you don't want to." 

"I'd enjoy it, actually," I said. It was the truth. I loved keeping house. It made me feel important. 

He looked at me with a funny look for a few moments. "How old are you?" he asked, frowning. "Sometimes you've got this...something...about you that makes you seem older than you look."

"I'm seventeen, sir. My birthday was last week." Not that there was anything different about that day compared to all the others. I'd spent it tied to the wheel of the dealer's wagon while he auctioned off the other omegas. My hands tied very tightly above my head so that there was no chance of my touching myself and "spoiling the goods."

His eyes widened and his eyebrows raised almost comically. "Seventeen! I would've said fourteen at most."

"I looked too young at fourteen for anyone to buy me, or the dealer would've sold me then. I've always looked too young." I toyed with a piece of bacon, memories coming back to me. "My sister will be fourteen now."

"Your sister?" he asked.

"Her name's Sonya. Well, Lizzie, really, but she doesn't like that name, so she came up with Sonya." 

"Is she an omega, too?"

A spark of dread shot through me. Why did he want to know? But I couldn't lie to him. 

"Yes, she is."

"Do you know where she is?"

Why did he want to know?! I'd fight him before I let him put his hands on Sonya. 

"The last time I saw her she was still living with my parents, but that was when my parents sold me. I was ten. Who knows what's happened to her since then. My parents probably accumulated more debts and sold her, too." Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes.

"Hey, shh," the alpha's voice breathed in my ear as his arms wrapped around me. "It's okay. I'll try to find her, and if I do, I'll do my very best to bring her here and keep her safe. Don't worry, little one."

I, oddly enough, found his voice and scent calming. I calmed down quickly. "I-I'm alright now. Thank you."

"You don't have to keep thanking me, Newt. Now, how do you like your tea?" 

I thought back to my childhood. "Two sugars and just a drop of milk." Before I could berate myself for thinking I was entitled, he was stirring the cup and handing it to me. 

"There you go. Enjoy your breakfast. Feel free to explore when you're done. I'll have company for tea, but other than that it's just you and me."

Before I could thank him, he was gone.

He was actually quite kind, I thought. I wasn't that scared of him now. He'd just talked to me, as though we were friends having a chat. And when I was crying, he'd comforted me instead of angrily ordering me to "stop it you pathetic bitch."

As I was finishing my breakfast, feeling fuller than I had in years, I heard footsteps. I stood up and faced the door, manners drilled into me.

Thomas was leaning on the doorframe, frowning at the floor.

"Thomas?" I asked cautiously.

"You don't have to stay here, you know. If you have somewhere to go, you can walk out the door right now."

My eyes widened. It was unbelievable. "But, you bought me."

He looked me in the eye. "I bought you to keep you safe. You know as well as I do what would've happened to you if I hadn't bought you. I couldn't just leave you there to be raped and mistreated your entire life."

"And all the other omegas in that auction yard?" Shut up, Newt! I'd be lucky to get off with a beating for that. But he owned me, he could do whatever he wanted to me. 

"I would've saved every single one them if I could. You were nearest to me, though, and seeing the way that scum was touching you..." he trailed off. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that you aren't a slave or a prisoner."

The possibilities ran through my head. I could leave. But I also wouldn't feel right if I just left. He'd payed over a thousand credits for me.

"I-At least let me work off what you payed for me," I said. 

His expression was total shock. "You don't have to do that." 

"Then I won't leave, because that's the only way I'd feel alright about leaving," I insisted. "Let me work it off at the same rate of pay you would give a housekeeper or whatever."

"Listen, you don't have to do that. You honestly don't."

"Then I won't go. Ever." I was so going to get in trouble for this. I was always speaking out of turn and contradicting alphas.

"I...You are incredibly stubborn, you know." He laughed quietly. "Fine, if that makes you feel better. You can still leave at any time, though."

"At the same rate of pay as a housekeeper," I said. "Not a tenth of a credit more." Gods I was mouthy. I needed to stop.

"Alright, alright," he held his hands up in surrender. "I'll work out the figures and get back to you later."

I smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in...a decade?

He looked at me in that odd way again for just a second. "I'll see about finding you some clothes." And then he disappeared down the hall. 

I went exploring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope there is a little interest in this. It's an oooollllldddd idea that I never got around to writing, and I've forgotten some of the plot. :P


	3. Company

I went back up to my room, hoping I would find something that would fit the boy. Newt. I tried not to think about his soft, elfin features and deep brown eyes and how cute he was. I was meant to be mentally running through what clothes I had that would fit a slender little thing like him.

I found a long-sleeved white shirt and some jeans that would work until I could take him to town and buy him some more. Tomorrow, maybe. We could go to Glade instead of Denver since we were going clothes shopping. Glade was a nice little town with decent people.

I put the clothes on the bed in his room and went to my study to start unpacking things. 

A few hours later I realized that it was lunchtime and I'd done nothing about that. Newt didn't know his way around, and I wasn't going to make him cook today. Come to think of it, I didn't even know where he was. 

I went back to the dining room, the last place I'd seen him. Everything was cleared away, and Newt came through the swinging door from the kitchen, carrying a platter of something. He looked surprised to see me.

"Thomas. I, uh, lunch is nearly ready. I've just got to get a few more things." He ducked his head. Still didn't trust me, it seemed.

"You didn't have to go to all that trouble."

He looked a little put down, so I hastily added,

"But thank you. It smells delicious."

He smiled, giving me that little twisting feeling in my gut. 

The meal was very good. Simple, yes, but that's partly what made it so good. It was like something one looked forward to sharing with their mate at the end of a long day. It was like home. 

"Thanks, Newt," I said, putting down my utensils. I looked over at him as he finished his own portion.

He met my gaze for a long moment, then looked away, a faint pink spreading across his cheeks.

"I put some clothes on your bed. We can go into Glade tomorrow and you can pick some out at the shop. One of my friends works there." I stood up. "I've got a few important letters to write, so I'd better go. Unless you'd like help cleaning up?"

"No, I can manage just fine. When do your guests arrive, and how many are there?"

"Oh, gosh, I'd forgotten about that already. They'll be here at three thirty. There should be five including me."

"Alright, I'll have everything ready," Newt said with another little smile.

Hours later the door to my study opened just enough for Newt to poke his head in. "Thomas." He stepped inside. "It's three fifteen. I just thought I should let you know. Everything's ready for your guests. I set it up in the sitting room, and I have an extra pot of tea waiting in the kitchen if it's needed."

"Thanks, I had no idea that was the time." I looked him over. He had changed into the clothes I'd given him. They were too skinny for me, but they fit him pretty well. That gave me a better idea of what sizes to be looking for tomorrow. I also payed attention to his body language and facial expression. He looked happy, and there was more color in his cheeks today. He looked like he was thriving.

That made me feel good, like I'd done the right thing. "You can join us for tea, if you like," I said, starting down the hall to the sitting room. "My friends that are coming are alphas, but they certainly won't do anything to hurt or embarrass you." _And if they did I'd throw them out personally._

He hesitated. "Thank you," he said, reluctantly. 

I stopped and took his shoulders, making eye contact with him. His breath caught. "You don't have to, Newt. You don't _have_ to do anything here, alright?"

"I'd rather not just yet," he said quickly. "It's just a bit much for me at this point."

"Then you don't have to. I understand completely. You can hang out in the kitchen or your room or explore more of the house, whatever. It's all fine, Newt."

"Yes, Thomas. Thank you. I'll be around the kitchen if you or your guests need anything."

Still with the head ducking and saying "Thomas" as if it was synonymous with "sir". I'd have to work hard to earn his trust, clearly, but at least he wasn't cowering away from me in tears. I was going to take care of him. And I was going to do the same for his sister, when I found her. I'd written some inquiries that would be sent off tomorrow.

The first to arrive was Minho, hair impeccably styled as usual. Newt had shown him into the sitting room before disappearing again.

"The shuck, Thomas? One day you're ranting about the way omegas are mistreated, the literal next you've bought one?" He growled angrily. He had a right to be mad at me. We shared the same views, and as of right now he was out of the loop.

"Calm down, it's not what you think. I did it to protect him. You should have seen what that scum was doing to him. I couldn't just leave him there. He's well aware of why I did what I did, and he's helping out around the house because he felt like he owed it to me."

"Thomas, that is no shucking excuse to take advantage of him."

"I'm not! You have no idea how stubborn he was. I told him he could walk out the door at any moment and he said he'd work off what I'd payed for him at the rate I'd pay a housekeeper, or he wouldn't leave. Ever," I said. "I tried telling him it was unnecessary."

"Alright. I believe you. It's just...well he's obviously not at all ugly..."

"I know. But that's not why I bought him. He's looking much better than he did yesterday. I thought he was going to pass out. I'm pretty sure I've done the right thing by him. We're going into Glade tomorrow to buy him some clothes. Which he wil probably insist on working for." 

"Thomas! Good to see you!" Alby said, taking my offered hand. "I see you've found yourself a greeter."

And so I explained the situation to him, as well. And Chuck, and Gally. 

Gally was the son of an old friend of my father's, which was the only reason I knew him. We shared nothing in common. Particularly beliefs on how omegas should be treated. However, he held a mildly important political position, and if I could convince him to believe in what was right and to speak out about it, some good might come of it.

However, I noticed the look Gally gave Newt when he brought in a fresh pot of tea, and decided to keep a close eye on him when he was around Newt. There was no shucking way I was letting anyone touch that beautiful little angel. I mentally berated myself for thinking of him that way. I was looking after him, and that was all. There was no room for attraction. I would earn his trust simply because I wanted him to feel safe while he was here, but that was all. That was all there could ever be between us.

Chuck was one of my closest friends, and was happy to hear that I wasn't here all by myself. He had seen Teresa in Glade with Aris and said she'd sent her love and hoped I hadn't taken her leaving too hard. In a way, I had, but I also knew she hated goodbyes and that she really did love Aris. I hoped the beta couple would be happy together. They certainly deserved it. I wondered if Newt and I would see them in town tomorrow. There was a definite possibility of it.

As it became clear that no one had any intention of leaving anytime soon, I excused myself momentarily and went to the kitchen to find Newt, who was one step ahead of me.

"Well, I had come in here to see if there was any way you could be persuaded to fix dinner, but I see you've already thought of that," I said. He smiled, but I could see stress it. "I hadn't planned on this, and I know you don't know your way around the place yet, and that you'd probably like to rest. I really can just kick them out if you're tired."

"No!" he looked horrified, but collected himself. "No, there's no need. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, quite."

"Well thank you for all the extra effort." I hoped he wasn't just saying that. I didn't want him to expect to work until he was exhausted every day.

"Don't mention it."

The dinner proved to be incredibly good, and rather fancier than I was used to. I wondered how he'd managed to prepare it in such a short amount of time, and how he'd gotten the cooking experience. He'd said he'd left his family when he was ten years old. I'd have to ask him about it sometimes, provided it wasn't a touchy subject for him. The others were suitably impressed with his culinary abilities as well and made the most of the free meal, provided at the little omega's expense.

After dinner and socializing was finally over and done with and the guests had gone home, I went up the stairs and to my bedroom. I found a hot bath waiting for me and the bed made up, with a hot pan in the sheets. I went down the hall to Newt's room and knocked. No reply. 

I tried the kitchen and found him washing dishes, humming to himself. I stood in the doorway for a moment, just looking at him. He was a few inches shorter than me, and a little too thin for his own good, but that would soon be remedied. I actually cared about his welfare, not just the fact that he remained a virgin until sold.

"Uh, Newt?" I asked finally.

He looked up, apparently startled.

"Sorry, I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done today. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, but you really don't have to thank me. I enjoy the work, honestly. Omegas are naturally inclined to homemaking."

"Well, I'm still grateful for it. Get some sleep tonight, though, alright?"

"I will," he said, ducking his head. 

I smiled and left him to it, going to enjoy my bath. I was going to win this little omega's trust if it was the last thing I ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! The first few chapters are going to be fairly short. Hope that's alright! Comments are little bundles of joy!


	4. Glade

I soon finished the washing up and went upstairs to bed. I felt extraordinarily happy that I'd pleased Thomas. I knew it was my omega instincts that made me feel that way, but it was a nice feeling. I was starting to trust him. I knew I probably shouldn't, but I did, and that was that.

The next morning I showered quickly, hoping that was alright. If it wasn't, I'd find out. I'd have to test boundaries here. He hadn't made it all that clear what I could and couldn't do. I dressed and bounded off to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

When he came into the dining room and found crumpets and tea waiting, he looked surprised. "Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" he said, smiling. "And a much appreciated one. Care to join me?"

"I've already eaten, Thomas. Is that alright?" Now I was nervous again.

"Of course it is. If you have a moment, though, I'd like to go over your payment."

"Yes, Thomas." I sat down near him, but also not right next to him. 

"At fifty credits a month, which is what my father paid his housekeeper, it will take you two years to work off the amount I paid for you. I will repeat, however, that you can leave at any time. Whether you leave now or in two year's time, or at some randomly chosen point in time between now and then makes no difference to me, as long as it's what you want."

Two years to some might seem like too long, but honestly I had no plan after I left here, so two years sounded just fine to me. Plus, I was fairly certain I was safe here. 

"I'll stay and work. Two years sounds perfectly fine to me."

"Alright, then there's another couple of things. Are you going to insist on working off what I pay for your clothes and other things you might need?"

"I'd prefer to," I said slowly, after giving it a moment's thought.

"Then we'll just have to keep track of what I spend on you, then. There's no dissuading you?"

"No, Thomas." This was one of the rare occassions when it was alright to contradict an alpha.

"What about heats? When is your next one?"

Oh no. "I-I don't know, Thomas." I hung my head in shame.

"You don't know? Well, when was your last one?"

"I haven't...I haven't had my first yet. The dealer thought I was barren." A true failure for an omega. Unable to produce children for their alpha. 

"Oh." I couldn't look at him. "Or you could just be a late bloomer. It's possible, given how young you look for your age. Come here."

He spoke gently, but I was still frightened as we stood. I walked up within a few steps of him and stopped, trembling. He leaned towards me and I stiffened. He nosed at my neck, scenting me. I tilted my head instinctively. At least he hadn't cursed and beaten me for being a failure to my gender, although scenting was an incredibly intimate act. Almost like kissing.

"Mm-hm," he said, pulling back. He tilted his head and looked pensive for a second. I waited, still trembling a little. "I wouldn't say for sure that you're not a late bloomer, but don't get your hopes up too high. But, I'm not going to treat you differently either way. You can't help it if you are or aren't fertile."

I'd never been so hopeful in my life. "Do you really think I might just be a late bloomer?"

"Yes. Now, little one, I think we'll have lunch in Glade, so let's leave around eleven. Alright?"

Little one. I liked it when he called me that. I nodded. "Thank you, Thomas."

"You're welcome. And Thomas is my name, not my title. I'm not going to demand your complete submission and respect, so lighten up a bit, okay?" The words were not spoken harshly. They were just spoken.

"Okay." 

"I'll see you later." And he disappeared again. 

I smiled and hummed to myself as I cleaned up. Things were brightening up in my life. It was as though someone had drawn a curtain to let the light from the garden pour in, and I was slowly walking toward the window to look out. I wondered what I would find when I did. Thomas was a good alpha, I was almost certain of it.

I thought more about him scenting me. That level of intimacy was an in the ideal society, reserved for prospective mates. In actual life, though, it was just another thing alphas did to their sex slaves. Another show of dominance. It was simply a means to an end.

I explored more of the downstairs, finding cleaning supplies and laundry tubs, and all sorts of other things I'd need for my work around the house. I was starting to get to know my way around. 

I kept an eye on the clock as I wandered, and at ten forty-five went to see if Thomas was still going along with the plan. He was, and went to tell his coachman to get the carriage ready. I hurried upstairs to my room and washed up a bit, trying to tame my hair. After a few minutes I gave up and went to find Thomas. He tossed me a pair of shoes. 

"They're probably too big, but you can wear them for now. We'll get you some in town."

"Thanks," I said, slipping them on.

"Thomas?" I asked quietly, surprising myself. This had been weighing on my mind all morning, but I hadn't expected myself to voice it without any thought going into what I should say beforehand. 

"Yeah?" he asked, lacing his own boots up before standing.

"I-Well, that is...I'm not sure what you want from me, and I just want you to know that. So if I make mistakes, it isn't that I am deliberately misbehaving, I just messed up," I said in a rush. "I will try, I promise. And I will take any punishment you ever decide to give me. Just please be forgiving just now. I'm still learning."

"Newt, look at me." I obeyed. "I'm not going to punish you, ever. You're my housekeeper, not my slave."

His face was genuinely caring and gentle. I felt so safe looking into his eyes. My worries dissolved in an instant and I smiled.

"Now, let's be off," he said. I followed him out of the mansion.

I spent most of the drive looking out the window of the carriage at the scenery. It was beautiful here. I drank in the sight of green hills and the winding creek that ran around their feet. I wondered if I'd see it again. 

I glanced over at Thomas, who was watching me with a small smile. "Pretty, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, very."

"I spent several years living with my father in that mansion. I used to go on walks around here all the time. I missed it when I moved away after my mother died. I just couldn't seem to bring myself to move on with her memory haunting every inch of the place. I've coped since then, though moving back was a bit of a strange experience. I'm managing, at least. Having you there to help me will be a great help."

"I'm glad to be of service."

He gave me that look, the one that seemed half disappointment, and I wondered what I'd done wrong this time. Before I could make up my mind to ask him, he pointed out the window.

"That's Glade over there."

I looked out and saw a cluster of buildings. It wasn't a big town, but it was a modest one. It had a friendly, relaxed look to it, the way it sat nestled between two hills. I liked it. 

"I have several friends in Glade, and I'm sure you'll make quite a few yourself."

I was a little confused. How was I supposed to make friends in town if I was working at the mansion?

"You're free to come down here in the evenings or weekends, by the way. I keep forgetting to tell you things, it seems." 

"Oh. Thank you." I didn't think I'd ever understand this man. He was unlike any alpha I'd ever met. He was kind, seemed to think of us as equals.

We stopped in front of a small shop and Thomas helped me out, quite the gentleman. He got the door for me as well, and was nearly tackled by a girl with black hair. She was a beta, I could tell by the scent. 

"Oh, Tom, I'm sorry I left like that. I've been regretting it ever since," she said, pulling back to reveal brilliant blue eyes. 

"Teresa, it's fine," he said with a smile. "This is Newt. He's staying with me for a while and needs some clothes."

"Hi, Newt. Let me go find Aris and he can help you out." She disappeared into the back. 

"Aris runs the shop," Thomas explained. "Teresa is his girlfriend, and helps him out."

"Hello, Thomas." 

I turned back to see a young man with tousled brown hair. He had a bit of a drawl to his voice, which was unusual in this area, like my own accent. He and Thomas chit-chatted for a moment while I looked around the room. The clothes all seemed to be wellmade and the colors were respectable. The flashy colors one would see in Denver were apalling, especially to my sensitive tastes. But right now I couldn't afford to be picky. An alpha was being generous enough to bring me into town and have me fitted for brand new clothes, and he was paying for them. I would be grateful for whatever I got. 

Thomas introduced me, and Aris measured me quickly and efficiently. He showed Thomas and me to an area where the sizes that would best fit me were kept, and then went to help another customer.

"See anything you like?" 

I was torn between honesty and respect. Before I could decide what to say, hands were on my cheeks, firmly suggesting that I look him in the eye.

"Newt. Please don't be so scared of me. I'm not going to hurt you or get mad at you for picking out clothes you like."

I let out a heavy breath. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to this."

"I understand. I really do, but you need to trust me. I know that's hard, but try. Please try."

"I am trying. It's just...my whole life it's been drilled into me that you obey alphas, no matter what, without question. There's always been a part of me that rebelled against that, but that got me hurt so many times it's hard to give into it now. If I do it's because I've slipped up."

I wasn't expecting the hug, or the words breathed into my ear. "I don't know how anyone could find it within them to hurt you, even if they were trying to force you into complete submission. You're so gentle. I'm sorry that's how you've been treated, but I swear it's different now."

I relaxed into his hold and cautiously returned it. It felt good to be close to someone who didn't have ulterior motives. I felt tears welling up. Not now. Now in public. He must have felt me tense, because he pulled back and rubbed my shoulder, giving me the tiniest of smiles. I instantly felt better. 

"I like these," I said, pointing out the shirts. 

He picked one up and held it up to me. "Definitely suits you. Which others?"

I ended up wth several more shirts and pairs of pants than I'd ever thought I would. I tried to talk him out of some, but he wouldn't be moved. I then proceeded to thank him numerous times, until he laughed and told me not to make mountains out of molehills. 

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're happy, but really, everything is alright. Now, I'm going to stick these in the carriage and I can show you around town."

We had an enjoyable walk around, ate lunch in the tavern, and met some people. I learned my way around pretty well, and now that the people knew me and understood that I was with Thomas, if I ever did go into town alone, I wouldn't be bothered as much, I assumed. We stopped by the post office to send the letters Thomas had written, and then we were off home. Home. It was a comforting thought. 

Overall it had been a lovely day, and I felt truly safe here. I hadn't felt that way since my early childhood, playing with Sonya. I sighed, lost in thought for a moment. Poor Sonya. I hoped she was alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Newt POV! I love him to pieces.


	5. Alby

Newt was settling in well, coming out of his shell and having fun. He'd been here two weeks and was a fantastic help to me. He could cook and clean and organize and light fires and take messages and see people in and out. It was wonderful. I was gone most of the day to deal with my tenants, and to come home to a warm smile, a hot meal, and a cup of tea by the fire was one of the greatest pleasures I had in life.

He didn't like to talk about himself, I'd learned. He had told me about his sister and that he'd been sold at age ten, but that was all. I stopped asking when I figured this out, not wanting to upset him.

I was developing a crush on the little omega. He was just too sweet. He had a lovely accent, he was cute, he was an excellent cook, and he took me for what I was now, not based on assumptions. He could always make smile, and took all the stress and irritation away with a well placed smile or a shoulder massage (another skill he was very proficient with) or simply sitting near me, quiet as a mouse, but keeping me company. 

He liked to read, and I liked to pick up a random book in the shop in Glade and bring it home to him. The brilliant smile he'd give me when I did was to die for. We often went into Glade together, just to explore or shop or see friends. Everyone got along with Newt, although I was still wary of Gally. 

Today Newt had gone to Glade on his own, saying that he wanted to get a particular book. I made sure he had plenty of money for it and sat with my own in the sitting room. I had a glass of sherry while I read, and then realized that Newt had been gone a long time. A very long time. I checked the clock. Almost two hours. 

I went to the window and looked out. He was coming up the path with Alby. I hadn't known he was going visiting. My sudden worry faded. He was alright, and he was almost here. 

Newt came into the room with a smile unlike any I'd seen before. "Hello, Thomas." 

"Hello. You were gone a long time, everything alright?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yes, everything's fine. Alby was in the shop and we had a bit of a chat and went on a walk. He walked me home, too."

I shifted to face him properly and tilted my head a little. "He did?"

"Yeah. He," Newt blushed, which had to be the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, "he said in the shop he likes me and wanted to know if I'd like to go out with him sometime."

"Are you going to?" I asked, perhaps a bit harshly. 

"I said I would. He's very nice."

I felt something sink in my chest. Newt and Alby were going out. That complicated some things. The boy I was crushing on had a boyfriend, who was one of my close friends. I decided I needed to see Minho tomorrow.

"Thomas?" 

I blinked. "Oh, sorry, thinking. You like him?"

"Yeah, a little." He ducked his head with a little smile. 

Now I was really jealous. I smiled, though, and said I was happy for him. I was, really. I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant he wasn't with me, I supposed.

I went to Denver to see Minho as planned, and he looked surprised to see me.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"No," I snapped, then ran a hand over my face. "Sorry. I'm not in a good mood." Not even Newt's waffles had lifted my spirits.

"Any particular reason?"

"Newt and Alby are seeing each other," I said, sullenly sinking into a chair.

"Ah. I thought this might happen."

"Oh you did, did you? And just what, may I ask, gave you that impression?" I glared at him, but he maintained that stupid suavity of his.

"No, I mean that you'd start to like him."

"Who said I liked him?"

"The fact that you're in such a bad mood because he's seeing someone."

"Hmph."

"Look, I understand. He's cute and all, but you really need to pull yourself together. You've got your own life and there are thousands of omegas. He's not the only one."

"He's the only one who trusts me."

"Well, he didn't at first, so I'm sure he won't be the only one you can get to trust you. Get another charity case if it makes you feel better. There's always an auction going."

"Minho!" 

"Look, calm down, slinthead. I've got a difficult court case I need to do my research on, and you either need to get over him or tell him you care about him. He won't hear it from me, if that's what you're hoping."

I huffed. "No. I'd better go, then."

That had been disastrous, and I felt even worse when I got home. I was tired and cold and hungry, and Newt was reading upstairs, though he had left some cold chicken on the table.

They went out a few times that week, and I started to become distant from Newt. He didn't spend as much time with me now, choosing to read books Alby had gotten him or lent to him, or going on walks with him. I busied myself trying to find his sister. 

I had spoken to the auction-yard master while in Denver and had found the dealer I'd bought Newt from. I was trying to arrange a meeting with him, but he was in another town at the moment and wouldn't be back in Denver until two weeks from now. I was hoping to find out where he'd gotten Newt and contact people in the area to see if she was still there. 

Tonight Newt had hurriedly set the table and brought out a roast with potatoes before grabbing a coat and rushing out the door to meet Alby. I tried to enjoy the meal, but I didn't really succeed. 

I started reading Newt's favorite book, Pride and Prejudice, glancing at the clock occasionally to see how long Newt was gone. 

Three hours and four minutes. About the same amount of time he'd spent with me all week. I went upstairs to bed, not wanting to see that beautiful smile that wasn't for me.

The next day Newt had made cinnamon rolls for breakfast, along with the usual cup of tea. 

"Did you go to Denver yesterday?"

I looked up, surprised he'd spoken to me.

"Yeah." 

"Mind me asking what you were there for?"

"I met the auction-yard master." That was all he needed to know.

He smirked. "Dissatisfied with your purchase?"

"No!" I looked at him, hurt. "I thought you understood."

"I do, Tommy, it's just a joke," he said gently. 

Tommy. My heart melted. 

"Oh. Well." I cleared my throat. "I'm trying to find your sister. I never got a reply to the inquiries I made. I'm making a little progress."

His expression was hard to read. "Thanks for trying to find her. I really appreciate it."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

After lunch, which he remained at home for, and talked over, he set a large bowl of chocolate ice cream in front of me. He was standing so close I could scent him. Vanilla hazelnut. The loveliest smell in the world.

I looked up at him.

"Thought it might cheer you up. It doesn't seem to be a talking about it sort of problem." 

I blinked a few times.

"Well, t wasn't all that hard to figure out you were upset over something. I tried giving you space, but that didn't seem to help any, so I thought comfort food might be the way to go." He gave me a quick, sympathetic smile. 

"Thanks, Newt," I said, tiredly. Maybe I could use some ice cream. I took a bite. Yep. Ice cream. 

Newt stuck around that day, and we talked about this and that, just like old times, other than the fact that he seemed to have a lot to say about Alby. It was better having him around, definitely.

I just wished I wasn't lying to myself and thinking it meant something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!


	6. Tommy

Something was bothering Tommy. Really bothering him. He hardly had any appetite and I swear he hadn't slept a wink for ages. I asked Alby about it and he said to give him some space. So I did, and spent a lot of time with Alby. 

I'd started thinking of Thomas as Tommy a while ago, when he'd started bringing me books. He was so sweet I could hardly believe he was an alpha. I didn't want to give him space, I wanted to hug him and make him extra cups of tea and ask him what was wrong, but he was quite distant and I thought it best to follow Alby's suggestion.

Alby was much more serious than Tommy, and I was a little wary of him (being an alpha and all) even now. It just didn't feel right with him. I always had a good time, and he made very intelligent conversation, but I didn't _like_ him the way I thought I had. He was just a close friend. I thought we could become more with a little time, so I never said anything. 

I had yet to meet Brenda, though Tommy mentioned her quite frequently. I wondered if he had a crush on her.

Finally, my omega instincts to care for him became too strong to ignore and I made up my mind to do something about it, right thing to do or not. His expression when I gave him the ice cream, which I had worked hard to gather ingredients for and make, told me it was the right thing to do. I made sure to keep him company for the rest of the day and felt much better about his condition when I went to bed that night, much later than him since I'd put off work to spend time with him and had had to catch up. I made my way around with a candle and it was long after three in the morning before I finished and climbed weakly into bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

I rose at dawn, exhausted but knowing there was no other option, so I hurried to shower, dress, and make Tommy's breakfast. Alby had told me he would be in Denver today, on business, so I had no obligations of any kind that day.

I fought to keep my eyes open as I set the table, and splashed some cold water on my face when I went back into the kitchen. I hadn't made enough porridge for two, so I decided to wait for my own breakfast and see if there was anything special Tommy needed done.

He looked much better today, which made me feel good. I sat quietly while he ate, wondering what to say but now knowing that he would appreciate company whether or not I said anything.

"So, what are your plans for the day?" he asked, suddenly glum again.

"I...well, I'd thought I'd do some work around the house and maybe discuss Silas Marner with you," I said then regretted it. Tommy had enough to deal with running his estate, especially since he was so young, and his time was precious. I should have thought more thoroughly before I made a demand on his time. 

"No plans with Alby then?" I noticed an odd undertone in his voice, but I couldn't figure it out.

"No, none at all."

"Well, I have a few things that need my attention in town, but I was planning on taking the afternoon off. I'd enjoy spending that time with you."

I smiled shyly. I felt funny around him today, and I didn't understand why. I wasn't afraid of him. Probably just the lack of sleep. 

"Is there anything here that needs my attention that you can think of?" I asked.

"You might straighten up the study, but I can do that if you have more important things to do. It's not urgent."

"I can do it," I said, standing as he did. "Have a good day, Tommy."

"You, too, Newt." He surprised me by hugging me briefly. His clove and orange scent filled my nostrils and I felt very safe. 

After he'd left and I had cleared up, I started dusting the busts in the hall, not feeling very hungry now. 

I had a horrible headache and decided never to stay up that late again. I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep for a few hours, but I had work to do. I heard a loud knock on the front door and hurriedly stuffed the feather duster into an umbrella stand and went to answer it.

It was Gally. He was my least favorite of Tommy's friends. There was something about him that I didn't trust. However, I still treated him with respect. He was an alpha, and a guest of Tommy's. It was my duty to show the same hospitality that Tommy would, were he here.

"Gally, I'm afraid Thomas isn't in at the moment," I said. "He just left to go to Glade. I don't expect him back before noon."

"That's quite alright. I just wanted to drop by and give you this." He held out a parcel. "It's for you."

I was quite frankly shocked. "Thank you," I managed, taking it. Gally came a step into my personal space and I looked up at him, frightened by his closeness and the look in his eyes. 

"I hope you enjoy it," he said lowly, running his hands from my shoulders to my waist, and slipping ever so slightly lower before he lowered them, still hovering on the border of my space, and then he turned and strode down the walk. I quickly stepped back inside and shut the door. I took a shaky breath and told myself he hadn't _really_ done anything to me. I looked at the parcel. It was plain brown paper with hemp twine. I set it in the kitchen to inspect later, after I'd finished my work.

I busied myself sweeping Tommy's study, feeling safer there, surrounded by his scent, than in the main hallway. My hands still trembled, though.

When I had put the cleaning supplies away in the storage cupboard and was turning around to go into the kitchen there was someone standing behind me. I couldn't hold back the little scream. 

"Hey, Newt, it's me!" Tommy said, holding his hands out to placate me. I tried to catch my breath, not so scared now, but still feeling emotionally vulnerable. The lack of sleep combined with Gally's behavior had me on edge. "C'mere, little one." 

I eagerly welcomed the hug and the warm hand rubbing my back. I loved it when he called me that.

"Newt, you're shaking. Did I scare you that bad?" he asked, pulling back to look at me. I couldn't meet his gaze. 

"I-I...it's..." I stammered, unsure what to say.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's okay."

"It's not just that you startled me," I said in a rush. "I..."

"Hey, breathe. Just breathe," he said, pulling me back into his arms. "I've got you."

I held him tightly, face buried in his shoulder. I was grateful that he was offering me this level of comfort. It was just what I needed right now. He rocked from side to side, still rubbing my back. I just needed Tommy for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is so short! I've been really busy lately and haven't had time to work on any of my fics. :( I thought short was better than nothing at all. Updates may be a little slower, but I will NOT abandon these fics.


	7. Jealousy

The poor little omega was shaking in my arms, pressed against me for comfort. I wondered what could be wrong. I rocked back and forth, nuzzling his temple. His breathing began to calm.

"Can you tell me what happened, little one?" I asked gently.

He nodded into my shoulder, then took a few deep breaths. 

"I was dusting in the hallway and I heard a knock. It was Gally." He took another shaky deep breath. "He gave me a parcel and...he...he touched me."

I growled angrily. "He did _what_?" I forced him to look me in the eye. "What did he do to you?"

Newt looked panickstricken. "He...he ran his hands down my sides. It-it was suggestive, but he didn't...I'm sorry, I didn't want him to, Tommy." 

I realized I'd scared him and brushed away the tears now slipping down his cheeks. "Shh, I'm not upset with you. That wasn't in any way your fault. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't think anything like this would happen or I wouldn't've left you here alone. I should have given it deeper thought." I kissed his forehead. "You're safe now. I'm here."

He sagged against me. "Tommy."

Despite the circumstances, I smiled a little. I was quite fond of the pet name. Then I remembered.

"Newt, what was in the parcel?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I didn't open it."

"Where is it?"

"In the kitchen. Do you think we should see what's in it?" He pulled back, a lot calmer now.

"Yes, I do. I'll open it, okay? You don't have to."

He nodded, brushing a strand of blonde hair out of his eyes. He started toward the kitchen.

The parcel he handed me was plain brown paper, with twine holding it closed. I untied the twine and began to pull the paper off. Inside was a wooden box. I looked to Newt for comfirmation. He gave me a quick nod and I opened it.

It was a long wooden phallus, and a note,

_Think of me_

Newt clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with fright. I quickly closed the box.

"Hey, little one, easy now." I hugged him again. He was stiff. "He can't hurt you while I'm here. Promise. It's okay. I won't let him lay a finger on you."

"Tommy, why? Why is he doing this?" he said brokenly.

"Easy." I felt so badly for the little angel. I hated that I hadn't been here to comfort him when it happened. "Because you're beautiful and he's a lecherous beast. I don't like him, and I never have. He's not to be trusted. His father and mine were friends. He's not someone I want to be acquainted with, but at least I can keep an eye on him."

"I'm scared," he whispered.

"Don't be, little one. Alby will keep you safe," I said, remembering him suddenly and realizing that Newt probably needed him. "Get yourself a glass of water, I'll be right back. Okay, little one?"

He nodded. I slipped quickly out the back door and told one of the stablehands to go and get Alby from town. I returned to Newt, finding him staring at the box with an expression that twisted my heart. 

"Hey, come on. Let's go to the sitting room." I guided him gently, and he sat on my lap of his own accord when I sat down, laying his head against my shoulder. I craved this sort of intimacy with him, but he and Alby were together. I needed to back off. Newt's heart belonged to another, and he could never love me anyway. He saw me as a friend, if that. Right now he was scared, and he trusted me enough to protect him while he calmed down. 

When Alby arrived a little later, I left Newt to briefly explain what had happened. I left them alone in the sitting room while I made tea, taking a long time over it. When I took it to them, they were sitting on the loveseat. Newt brightened when I came in, and I noticed he was sitting beside Alby, not on his lap. I told myself that meant nothing, just that he'd calmed down. 

I stayed with them then, and we told Newt we would always be there if he needed us. Alby said he would keep an eye on Gally. He eventually had to leave, and Newt walked him to the door.

When he came back he sat back down in my lap and sighed. "That was bloody awkward."

I was, to put it simply, shocked. Newt had kept a certain distance from his boyfriend, and now that said boyfriend was gone, he sat in _my_ lap. And he had said bloody. Newt never, ever, swore, and it was so _British_ and _adorable_. 

"Newt, you're in my lap," I said.

"I see you're as observant as ever," he teased. "I'll move if you want, I just feel safer this way."

"But...Alby..."

He frowned, hesitating. "Alby and I aren't really working out. I need to tell him soon, today just wasn't the day, though."

"Oh," I said, feeling very happy. Newt was going to break up with Alby. He was currently sitting _in my lap._ Tell me that doesn't mean something.

"What would you like for dinner?" he asked, leaning his head against my shoulder again. 

"I don't know, what would you like?"

"I don't know. Let's pick something together. I'll grab some cookbooks." He hopped up and went back to the kitchen. I found myself not wanting to let him out of my sight. 

I was getting antsy just as he came back, with more than a few cookbooks. He lay them out on the floor and lay down on his stomach, feet in the air. I smiled and joined him. He shoved a cookbook towards me.

"You look through that one. If you find something, show me."

We went through several cookbooks, pointing out recipes and debating. It was at least half an hour before we came to an agreement. 

"Can I help you make it?" I asked, wanting to spend more time with him.

He grinned. "Yes, that would be lovely."

We made more of a mess tossing flour at each other than we should have, but we managed to mix everything and fry everything correctly. I helped him wash up while the rolls baked, loving the moments our hands brushed. 

I lit some candles while I set the table, unbeknownst to Newt, who looked surprised when he brought the food in. 

"Well, this looks nice," he said. 

_So do you,_ I wanted to say, but didn't. I just smiled.

We chatted over dinner, just like we usually did, and I helped wash up afterward. 

As we went upstairs for an early night, though, Newt looked nervous. I felt nervous. I knew it was irrational, but I was worried about what would happen to Newt if I wasn't there.

"Newt, just to be on the safe side, would you stay in my room tonight?"

He looked relieved. "I was going to ask if I could. Thanks, Tommy."

I smiled. "Don't mention it. I'll feel better knowing you're safe."

"I'll just shower and change," he said, gesturing to his door. 

"Yeah, sure. I'll do the same and I'll, um, I'll be in there." I tried not to think too much about Newt sharing my bed. It was simply me keeping an eye on him, nothing more. I repeated this to myself as I quickly showered and dressed in some warm nightclothing.

But when he came into my room and lay down beside me, snuggling up close with an adorable little sigh, I couldn't help longing for it to be more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you like the chapter! I know it's short, but I've had a busy day and I'm too tired to write more. The next chapter will be longer, promise.


	8. Words

I woke up to Tommy's scent and the feeling of fingers threading through my hair. I felt content. I felt safe. I hadn't had any nightmares. I looked to Tommy, who was smiling at me. 

"You're really cute asleep," he said, then looked uncomfortable.

I thought for a moment, surprised, and realized something. "You said I was beautiful yesterday."

He shrugged, but I could tell he was nervous. "You are."

"Thanks," I said, blushing. Tommy thought I was beautiful. That made me incredibly happy for some reason. I supposed it was the fact that no one had ever said that to me before.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for letting me stay in here."

"Don't worry about it. Would you like to go with me today?"

"I'd love to!" I had always wondered exactly what's Tommy's day was like.

I hurried to make breakfast and afterward we put on warm coats and were off. 

Tommy had been a great comfort to me yesterday. He'd held me, promised to protect me, and even sent for my boyfriend, though he didn't know I would rather have just cuddled with him. He did everything he could to make me safe after Alby left, from messing around with me in the kitchen to letting me share his bed. I was incredibly grateful. 

Gally's actions still frightened me, very very much, though I put a brave face on. Who knew what he was planning. He might just harass me, or he might try to kidnap and rape me. It was very possible, and I knew that verbally refusing to have anything to do with him would do no good. He was the kind of alpha who didn't care about omegas' thoughts or feelings and would simply take what he wanted and expect me to let him. I scooted closer to Tommy on the seat of the carriage. He held out his hand, seeming to read my thoughts, and I took it with a thankful smile. 

We went from one tenant's cottage to another, getting information on their farms and living conditions. Tommy told me he was trying to improve all the cottages, but that it took a lot of work. That and the fact that the tenants didn't quite trust him yet hampered progress on the plan. I wondered about their mistrust. It seemed to be something Tommy had done in the past. I thought about asking him about it, but decided now wasn't the time. He also told me that in the past couple of months he had decided that a family with omega children would be taxed less. I felt tears well up. It was because of me, I knew. Because my family had sold me to pay off debts. 

"Tommy, I-" my voice broke. 

"Hey, shh, Newt, it's okay." He hugged me, right there in front of at least three alphas. Well, not right in front of, since they were working in the fields and not really paying attention, but where they could clearly see. I didn't actually care. I buried my face in his shoulder and held him tight for a long time.

"I'm okay, Tommy. I just..." I pulled back to look him in the eye. "You're just such a _good_ alpha. You don't even realize it, but you are, and it's changed my life." 

"Newt, you don't have to-"

"I'm not. Whatever you're thinking, you're my best friend and I appreciate you more than you can ever know."

He blushed. Tommy actually blushed and didn't have a reply. It was really quite cute. Cute? What was I thinking? Tommy certainly wasn't bad looking, but he was my friend and I didn't feel anything for him...that way. Did I? The sudden realization that I wasn't sure startled me. Did I care for Tommy, or was it simply admiration for a dear friend?

"Well, um, thanks. You're my best friend, too." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"To be fair, I think that's Minho. Or Chuck."

He shook his head. "No, they're close friends, but you're my best friend."

It must have been two hours before I stopped smiling. 

We ate lunch in Glade, and I couldn't help feeling nervous. I kept looking over my shoulder at our little table in the pub. Tommy noticed and squeezed my hand, but didn't say anything. He didn't need to. I calmed down, knowing that I was safe with Tommy. Always. 

We went to the bookstore next, and I finally got a copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I adored Shakespeare, and even though Tommy didn't, he still read them and talked about them with me. I thought about George as I scanned the shelves. He would be proud of me for reading all these classics. I smiled as I remembered learning the alphabet by candlelight in his treehouse. Then I stopped smiling as more memories came back. I shook them away and moved closer to Tommy. He seemed to sense something was wrong and put an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, grateful for the comfort. 

"Gally can't hurt you here, Newt. I'm here, and there are plenty of people around. Don't worry, little one," he whispered. "Besides, he's not even around."

Little one. I loved it when he called me that, but it still didn't soothe me. "It's not Gally. I really don't want to talk about it. It's just memories."

"Oh." He rubbed my shoulder. "I won't force you to talk about anything, but I"m always here if you need to."

"Thanks, Tommy." I smiled at him, albeit sadly.

Tommy insisted on buying me some new clothes, arguing that this incredibly cold cold snap wasn't over and I needed warmer clothing. I tried telling him that what I had was plenty warm enough, but Tommy could be just as stubborn as me and I wasn't in the mood to argue that much. I would be working off the cost of the items anyway, so I didn't feel too bad about it.

I had one year and ten months left, plus whatever the clothes cost. Tommy said he that the books didn't count because he read them, too. It was an ongoing argument. I was surprised to think about it that way. I would've been beaten into submission by anyone else, but Tommy let me have my own opinions and voice them. I valued that.

When we got home I went to start a quick meal. Tommy usually had dinner right after he got home, but since I hadn't been here there was no meal prepared, and I didn't want to keep him waiting for long. I didn't mind waiting hours and hours for a meal, having grown accustomed to it over time. And a meal in my past translated to some stale bread and dirty water. It wasn't until I was going to be auctioned that the dealer cared about my appearance. He stopped beating me two weeks before the auction so that there wouldn't be any marks.

Tommy startled me when he came in to ask if there was anything he could do to help. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves and shook my head. "Not really, Tommy. But thank you."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Tommy. Just startled me is all." I smiled reassuringly. 

He nodded. "Okay. If you need anything just come find me. I'll probably be in the study."

"Would you like some tea to take with you?"

"That sounds lovely."

I started fixing one and decided to take a chance. "If you don't mind me asking, why don't the tenants really trust you? I mean, with everything you're trying to do for them..."

"Well, that has to do with my past." He frowned. "I've never actually told anyone the truth about it."

"I'm not asking you to share it if you don't want to," I said hastily. "I was just curious."

"No, it's fine. You of all people have a right to know. My father was an alpha, and my mother was an omega. He didn't treat her well. I always knew something was wrong, but it wasn't until I was twelve that I really understood. I kept finding her crying, and she'd always tell me she was fine. But I started noticing the bruises, and the fact that she apparently wasn't allowed to eat with us, and that he made her kneel at his feet and all that nonsense. Eventually she...she got sick. Very, very sick. She'd lost the will to live and just faded away. I had a huge fight with my father, and I left home wrapped in scandal. No one knows what the fight was about, just that at age fourteen I fought with him and left." Tears slid down his cheeks and I quickly moved to hug him as he let out a sob, omega instincts taking over. My alpha was upset and I needed to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Tommy." I nuzzled his neck, not caring about the intimacy of the act. I just wanted to make him feel better.

He held me, pressing his face into my hair. I let him, enjoying the feeling of having him close even as I felt horrible for him. 

"Everyone else thinks she had a bad bout of pneumonia. Please don't tell anyone."

I pulled back. "I would never betray your confidence, Tommy. I promise."

"Thank you."

I pulled him back into a hug and we stayed like that for I don't know how long. Eventually he rubbed my back a few times and pulled back. He looked a little shaken, but much better. 

I finished making the tea and put a little extra sugar in it. He thanked me quietly and disappeared. I bit my lip, wanting to go after him and cuddle him, but I knew that would be going too far. I finished making his dinner and set the table, deciding to diffuse some lavender oil for the calming effect it had. When everything was ready I went to the study. Tommy was sitting forlornly at his desk, staring at nothing. This had happened two years ago, and then his father had died of a heart attack and Tommy had had to return home. 

"Dinner's ready, Tommy," I said gently. "You really should eat something. You'll feel better."

He nodded and followed me back to the dining room. I had set my place closer to him than usual. He seemed to appreciate what I'd done with dinner and lightened up quite a bit. When I proposed we read my new book he smiled and agreed, as long as I read it.

So I read aloud to him until it was very late and Tommy was falling asleep. I gently closed the book. He instantly opened his eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked sleepily.

"Because you're falling asleep."

"You have a pretty voice. Very relaxing," he murmured with a yawn.

"You need to go to bed, Tommy," I said, trying not to blush. 

"Mm."

We went upstairs and he gave me a hug before going into his room. I went into mine and fell asleep quickly. My last thought was realizing that I'd thought of Tommy as "my alpha" earlier that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of this klunk for you lot. I hope you like it!


	9. Talking

I sat bolt upright when I heard the scream. Newt. My heart pounded as I jumped out of bed and raced down the hall. A million dreadful thoughts raced through my head. I skidded to a stop in front of his room and threw the door open. To my immense relief he was alone, but thrashing in bed, apparently having a nightmare. He was saying something, but it was unintelligible.

I hurried to his side. "Newt! Wake up! It's alright, little one. Wake up now." I gently shook his shoulders and he jolted awake, terrified glance landing on me for a split second. He shied away from me, shakily panting. I stepped away from the bed, holding my hands out, trying to calm him.

"It's Tommy, it's me. It's alright, little one. It was just a dream. I'm here."

"Hold me," he said brokenly. "Please, please hold me."

I slid carefully into the bed beside him and cuddled him, nuzzling his soft hair. "I'm here. I'm here. You're safe. Everything's alright, I promise," I murmured.

He clung to me like a baby koala, shaking. I couldn't see his face, but I could imagine the expression of complete terror. I would do almost anything to make him feel better. "Just hold me. Just for a minute. I need you close. Just for a minute," he half begged, as if worried I would leave him like this.

"Little one, easy. I'm here. I've got you. I won't leave you."

I cuddled him like that for ages. He finally calmed down enough to apologize.

"Newt, don't apologize. Please. I'm here to help you out when you need it, okay?" I kissed the top of his head. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

"No, I'm okay now."

"Are you sure? It's no problem if you do."

"I'm sure. Thanks, Tommy."

"You're welcome, little one." I left him to sleep, but it was hours before I got back to sleep. 

Newt had circles under his eyes the next day and spooked at every little noise over breakfast. He sat right next to me, a very clear sign that all was not well. Even the day Gally had scared him, he hadn't sat this close. I asked if he wanted to go with me again and he refused.

"I've got work to do around here, and I need to get over this. I can't be scared to stay in this house." He bit his lip and stared at his food.

I reluctantly left, but was slightly reassured when he gave me a big smile and a hug before I left. I may have kissed the top of his head, but I don't think he noticed. I got some work done in Glade, and then went to Denver.

"Lemme guess, this has to do with Newt?" Minho asked.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Well, let's get some lunch. I'm free."

We stopped in at a little cafe and I was suddenly reminded that Newt didn't know I wouldn't be back, and that I was so far away if anything bad did happen. I started worrying.

"Alby said Gally gave him quite a scare. Is he okay?"

I poured my soul out to him. "He's terrified, Minho. I don't know what to do. Me being around seems to help, but when I offered to take him with me to work again today he said he's got to get over it. I'm worried. I let him spend the night with me that night, and the next morning I woke up before him and ran my fingers through his hair without even thinking about it. He looked so cute, and his hair is unbelievably soft. It's almost like rabbit fur. He had a night mare last night. He was so scared."

"Wait, he _slept_ with you?" Minho held up a hand and gave me a funny look. My eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Not like that! We just slept in the same bed."

Minho looked annoyed. "I didn't mean 'like that'. He agreed to that?"

"Of course he did! I'd never force him to do anything!"

"I'm not saying you did, slinthead! Calm down for shuck's sake. I'm just saying that that requires a certain level of trust and that you and he must be really close."

"We are. I think I'm falling in love." I sighed hopelessly.

"What about Alby?"

"Newt said that things aren't really working out between them and he's waiting for the right moment to break up with him. Don't tell anyone."

"I won't. Lawyer-client confidentiality. Luck you."

"It's doctor-patient confidentiality. He doesn't like me, though!"

"He slept in your shuck bed!" he said, as if that was the key to everything.

"Because he was scared and I was the only person at that moment who could help with that! I'm doomed to a life of gazing and adoring perfection while the perfection is on the other side of a sheet of unbreakable glass."

He stared at me. "Dude, you've got it _bad._ "

I nodded miserably. 

"But I still think he likes you back."

I sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you? He only thinks of me as a close friend. If I told him I cared he would go along with it because he still sees us as 'boss and servant who are friends.' In his mind I'm not to be disappointed under any circumstances. He apologized to me for Gally touching him. He apologized for having a nightmare. He's always either apologizing or thanking me, and I feel terrible about it."

"Quit worrying. Give it some time. He's already so much more relaxed and trusting of you. Think about what another two months will do."

"I don't want him to feel obliged to be my boyfriend because I treat him well."

"He won't, as long as you make it clear that first and foremost you are his friend who is there to look out for him."

"I just wish it were that easy. I keep kissing him on the temple or the top of his head when he's upset. And I'm constantly hugging him. It's going to upset him sooner or later. What if he thinks I just want sex?"

"A little physical affection isn't going to hurt anything, just don't go over the top and scare him. And I don't think he'd think that. You don't give off that sort of vibe around him."

"What if I kiss him without really thinking about it or something? What do I do? What about when he goes into heat?"

Minho frowned. "I thought he was barren."

"I think he's a late bloomer. I mean, look at him."

"You could be onto something there. Just do what you think is right. You need to tell him eventually. Any luck finding his sister?"

"Well, I'm meeting the dealer soon. Possibly next week. He should be able to give me quite a bit of information."

"That's true. Well, I hope you find her, safe and sound."

"Me too. I don't know what to tell Newt if she isn't."

"The truth. He has a right to know. You'll just have to break it to him gently."

I sighed. "Poor thing. He didn't deserve any of this."

"I think he deserves to be looked after by someone who actually loves him."

If only it were that simple. If only I could deal with these feelings, maybe even feel confident enough to tell him. If only he cared about me, too. There were too many "if onlys" to count.

"Yeah, he does. I just wish he could return the feelings."

"I'm telling you I think he does, shank."

I smiled. "Well, thanks."

"How about we have dinner soon? Maybe Chuck and Alby can come, too."

"That would be nice. I'll see when Newt can manage it. He stresses if he doesn't have enougb preparation time for something."

"You are so in love." He shook his head, chuckling.

"I know."

We parted ways and I went directly home, worrying about Newt. When I got there, Newt ran to meet me as I got out of the carriage. He hugged me tightly. I froze, worried something was wrong.

"I missed you," he said, voice muffled in my shoulder.

I put my arms around him, smiling fondly even though he couldn't see it.

"I missed you, too. Sorry I didn't tell you I wouldn't be home."

"Oh, it's fine, Tommy. Alby came over to check on me this afternoon." The way he said it made it clear there was more to it than that.

"You're shivering. Let's get inside before you catch your death and then we can talk about it."

We sat down in front of the cozy fire and I had an idea. I made a mental note to check in Glade the next day. Newt would appreciate it, I was sure, and it was a nice gesture by which I could subtly show my affection. Who was I kidding? He would argue about working off what I paid unless I worded things very carefully.

"So Alby came over."

"Yes. I probably shouldn't have said anything so soon after...you know what, but I couldn't lead him on anymore. He asked if it was because I was scared of him now, and he wouldn't listen to my explanation. It didn't go very well. I think he's angry with me."

"I'm sure he'll come around, Newt."

"I hope it doesn't cause any unpleasantness between you two," he said sadly.

"Why would it?"

He looked uncomfortable, and I instantly worried. What had happened? What was said? Had Alby hurt Newt? I'd kill him if he had, friend or not.

"It was something I said. It sparked the whole thing."

"Well what did you say?"

"I said that I trusted you more than any other alpha. He was worried I didn't feel safe here and wanted me to stay with him tonight." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Newt, you don't have to be sorry for everything. Honestly, little one, I've never been mad at you for anything, and I'm not going to be. Promise." I looked deep into his eyes and what I saw there frightened me. 

His eyes were undeniably beautiful, but behind the beauty there was fear and pain. I hadn't noticed this before. Perhaps it was a new thing, but I never wanted him to feel that way. I moved to the other armchair and pulled him into my lap, ignoring his surprise.

"It's okay, little one. I've got you," I soothed.

"I'm fine, Tommy."

"No you're not. You're just saying that." I rubbed his back. "You can tell me anything. You know that, right? Anything. I won't judge, and I'd never tell anyone."

"It's not like that, Tommy," he said with a sigh, admitting there was something. "It's not something anyone can fix."

"I'm not saying I could fix it, even though I'd try, I'm just saying that you could tell me. I'm always here for you."

"Thank you, Tommy. Maybe one day."

"I'm not going to pressure you. If you want to tell me, do it when you're ready. I won't mention it again."

He hugged me tighter. "Thank you."

"I meant it when I said you were my best friend. I'll always be here if you need me."

He didn't say anything, just hugged me even tighter. I rubbed his back and he didn't move for a while. When he did, he didn't meet my eyes and mumbled something about dinner before leaving the room. I was left worrying about him. What was wrong? How did I fix it? And more importantly, where had Gally disappeared to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm officially heartbroken over TDC. WHY??!!??!!?? It was an awesome movie, though. Awesome. The ending was so emotional. It was perfect!


	10. Fear

The nightmare had been the same one it always was. Of That Day. I tried to never think of it, but I couldn't help it when I was scared. It just came flooding back. Tommy had calmed me down more quickly than anything else ever had. He had quite an effect on me. It was nice to have a real best friend. George had been the closest to that that I had ever had. I silently thanked him for giving me the strength I'd needed in the old days, and for his friendship. If it hadn't been for him I never would've trusted Tommy.

I was dawdling in the kitchen, pretending to be thinking about what to make for dinner but really keeping myself from talking anymore about Alby. 

_"Should've known you were fucking him."_

_"I'm not! For the love of heaven, I just don't feel what I thought I felt for you. I'm sorry."_

_"Whatever. How long have you been cheating?"_

_"I haven't been cheating. Do you really think that I would do something like that?"_

_"I don't know! I thought everything was fine, and now you're telling me it's not. I don't know what to think anymore!"_

_"Do you even know me? I would never cheat on anyone! All I said was I trusted Tommy! Is it wrong of me to trust someone?"_

_"You said you trusted him more than any other alpha, which has to include me, your boyfriend. Are you scared of me now? I'm not Gally. I know he scared you, but you can't automatically think everyone but your precious "Tommy" is like him!"_

_"Just leave, Alby. Just go. We can talk this over more when we've calmed down."_

_"No. I'll leave, but we are not talking. There's nothing to talk about. You're just going to lie and make excuses. I don't care if you fuck him, just stay away from me, you slut. Goodbye."_

_"I'm not lying!"_

He'd slammed the door on the way out and left me to cry. I didn't realize I was crying now or that Tommy had come into the room until he brushed away the tears and hugged me. 

"I'm sorry about all this. You shouldn't have to deal with all my problems. And I shouldn't be causing you problems."

"Newt, if he didn't respect you, then I don't need him as a friend. Disrespecting omegas is a very bad thing to do in my book."

"I still feel bad about it."

"Why?"

"He said some...hurtful...things," I admitted.

"What things, little one?"

"I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Alright. I won't force you. Do you need anything? Cup of tea? Night off? We could go to Glade for dinner."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. I'd still like to."

I was finding it harder and harder to resist Tommy as time went by. At one point I would've been scared to death to contradict him, at another I would've passionately argued, but now I was starting to give in more often than not.

"Alright. If you're sure."

We went to the little cafe we always did and ate the same thing we always did, but it was the sense of sameness that made me feel safe here. Until I saw Gally in the corner. Then I choked on my drink. 

"Hey, I've got you." Tommy repeated, hand on my shoulder until I'd quit coughing. 

"We need to leave. Now. Please."

"Okay," he said, instead of questioning me. I stuck to his side like glue until we got in the carriage. Then I let out a trembling sigh. 

"What happened?" 

"I saw Gally. He was watching me from the corner. I'm sorry I ruined our dinner, Tommy." I felt terrible when I did something like this that ruined his plans. 

"No, don't be sorry. I'm sorry I didn't think about the possibility he would be there."

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I asked quietly.

"Of course, little one. Anytime you need to."

I gave him a grateful smile and tried to calm my racing heart. Gally couldn't hurt me as long as Tommy was there. 

At least, that's what I thought until the dinner party the next week. Tommy had barely left the house, but had arranged this party with Minho, Chuck, Aris and Teresa, and Alby to try and bring some ghost of normalcy to the mansion. To be fair, Alby brought Gally along and Tommy hadn't been so inhospitable as to turn him away at the door. I had to control my trembling and serve the meal before making my excuses and fleeing to the kitchen. Alby had pretty much ignored me, but Gally had sent plenty of looks my way. 

I stood there trembling in the kitchen, standing close to the rolling pin. I scolded myself mentally and tried to calm down. It was nearly impossible knowing that the man in the next room had made it quite clear he wanted me sexually. I was sure he'd do anything to get me in his bed. 

"Newt?" 

I jumped and whirled around. It was Alby. The hand that had shot for the rolling pin lowered cautiously.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to apologize for what I said. I didn't mean it. I know you'd never cheat on a significant other, and I know that you and Thomas are just friends. I was angry and said things I didn't mean. Can you forgive me?"

I gave him a small smile. "I do, Alby."

He looked relieved. "Can we still be friends?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you. I am sorry."

"I know. It's alright."

"It really isn't. I'm glad you forgive me, though. I'd better get back to the party."

"I'll see you soon."

He smiled before leaving. I wondered if he was trying to get back in my good graces in the hope that I'd realize my true feelings for him and run back to him. I wouldn't, especially now that I knew he would go that far in anger.

"Hello, pussycat."

I froze, unable to move. Gally's voice was right in my ear. He put his hands on my shoulders, standing behind me, very, very close.

"Not even going to say hello? Very impolite. Thomas would be disappointed."

"Hello, Gally," I breathed, trembling. 

"Mm, much better. You're a good boy, aren't you? You want to please alphas."

His breath was hot on my neck and he was nuzzling right under my ear. Tears pricked the back of my eyes.

"Please, Gally," I begged.

"Eager, aren't we?" he said, twisting my words. He pressed a kiss to my collarbone, pushing my shirt over so that the mark he started to suck onto my skin wouldn't show.

"Stop, please stop." 

"Shh, be a good boy for me and keep quiet."

I was too scared to move. I played the only card I had.

"You don't want me."

"Why's that?"

"I'm barren."

"That doesn't matter to me. I can still fuck you raw."

I squeezed my eyes shut, mind spinning with thoughts of what he was going to do to me. By the time anyone came looking for me I'd be a bloody, broken mess I was sure. I didn't dare yell for help. I let out a whimper as his hands started to wander.

"Step away from him. Right. Now."

I opened my eyes. Tommy! Thank God, Tommy had saved me. Gally stepped away.

"Busted. Another time, pussycat." He started to saunter off, but Tommy grabbed his shirt and pressed him up against the wall.

"I catch you anywhere near him again and you'll regret ever meeting me. I'll break every bone in your body."

"As if. I'd really like to see you try," Gally scoffed.

Tommy punched him in the nose, and there was a loud crack, followed by a groan of pain. 

"That's one," Tommy growled.

Gally left quickly.

I still stood there, frozen in place. What would Tommy think of me now?

"Newt?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, breaking down completely. 

"Shh, little one." 

I was wrapped in his arms, his scent all around me, and his kisses pressed to my cheek. I felt safe. Tommy always kissed my tears away when I was upset. It always helped, too. He was the only alpha who'd ever kissed me until tonight. I cried into his shoulder, arms around him tightly. He picked me up and carried me somewhere. I was crying too hard to notice where.

Soon I was in a bed with him, being cuddled. I cried myself to sleep. 

When I woke up, I was wrapped in a soft, fluffy blanket and alone in Tommy's room. I glanced at the clock on his wall. It was ten o'clock, the next morning, judging by the light coming in through the window. I got up, had a quick shower, and decided to go downstairs and tidy the study or the sitting room or something. I met Tommy in the hall. He looked so compassionate I nearly started crying again. 

"C'mere," he said, holding his arms out. I eagerly stepped into them. "No one's going to hurt you, little one. We're going into Denver today, both of us, and we're going to see Minho about Gally. He may be able to get a restraining order or something."

I nodded. 

"There's something else, too, but you can stay with Minho in his office while I take care of that if you want to."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm going to meet with the dealer I bought you from to see about your sister. If he knows anything, I mean."

"Oh."

"I understand if you don't want to be there for that, especially considering what happened. Are you okay?"

"I'm scared, but as long as I'm with you, I'll be okay."

He ruffled my hair as he pulled back. 

"I'll be right there beside you, little one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! (Obviously) Sorry for the long wait on this and the previous chapter. I was out of town seeing friends. This chapter is really klunky, sorry.


	11. Friend

I cuddled Newt in the carriage, needing to comfort him as much as possible. It was all my fault Gally had done that. I should've kicked him out the second I saw him. I should've kept Newt right beside me where I could protect him. I should've beaten Gally to a pulp for touching him.

Newt's hopeless whimper had stirred something inside me. I had never been so angry in my life, not even when my mother died. I'd been prepared to defend Newt with my life. Now I felt guilty that I hadn't, and I felt bad that he had felt the need to apologize to me. He'd cried so hard I was surprised he wasn't sick today.

He curled into my chest, purring. He had the cutest purr, like a sleepy kitten. I loved it to pieces.

Sleepy kitten. That gave me an idea. A very good idea. 

Newt dozed on my lap, and I gently woke him when we got to Denver. I regretted this decision when I heard the loud herds of alphas at the auction yards. Newt was pale. I took his hand and he squeezed it hard.

We got out of the carriage and nudged and bumped our way through the crowd. I never let go of Newt's hand, except to punch the drunken alpha who dared to spank him as we walked by. His nose broke with a satisfying crack and we left him howling.

Finally we made it through the doors to the building that housed Minho's law office. Newt pressed against me, shuddering. Thankfully the walls blocked the sound from outside. 

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's all over now. I've got you."

"Thomas? Newt? What are you doing here?" Minho asked, coming out of his office.

"We want a restraining order on Gally," I said over Newt's shoulder, petting his hair.

"What happened?" Minho looked concerned.

"He tried to molest Newt last night. That's why I asked you all to leave early."

"Shuck, Thomas, you could've told me. Come in here."

We went into his office and Newt sat beside me, still holding my hand.

"Are you okay?" Minho asked him.

"I just had a bit of an incident in the street. I'm fine," Newt said softly.

"What happened?"

Newt blushed. 

"Some drunk bastard spanked him. I broke his nose," I answered for him.

Minho raised his eyebrows. 

"Better watch yourself shank. Who's going to look after Newt if I have to put you away for assault and battery?"

Newt bit his lip and squeezed my hand tighter. His brow was furrowed.

"I'm just teasing, Newt, don't worry." Minho leaned forward. "I'm going to have to ask you about what happened last night."

Newt nodded. 

"He's made it clear he has an interest in me...sexually. One day not long after Tommy bought me he showed up and gave me a parcel. He got in my space and touched me," Newt said, voice a little shaky. Poor little thing.

"What was in the parcel?"

"A sex toy and a note. It said to think of him," Newt's voice shook even more.

"Take your time, we've got all day," Minho said gently.

Newt nodded. He waited a moment before continuing.

"Last night he crept up on me in the kitchen. I was too scared to do anything to stop him, really. He did this," he pulled his shirt to the side and I saw the mark Gally had left. I growled, deep and angry.

"Thomas, calm the shuck down," Minho said, giving me a look of utter annoyance. "Did he do anything else?"

"He was running his hands over me," Newt said, voice faint. "I told him I was barren to try and put him off, but he said he didn't care and that....that he could still fuck me raw."

Newt's voice trailed off to a whisper and my blood boiled. I should've beaten Gally to a bloody pulp. I growled again, making Newt flinch.

"Thomas! Leave!" Minho ordered. 

I reluctantly did, pacing back and forth while he and Newt talked. I wanted to be there with him. I _needed_ to be in there with Newt. He was mine. Nobody touched him. I stopped in my tracks. What was I thinking? Newt wasn't mine, in any way other than my friend. Minho was right. I needed to calm the shuck down.

The door opened a moment later and Minho came out, shutting the door behind him.

"Let him have a minute. You calmed down now?"

I nodded.

"Good. Now, how much of that were you witness to?"

"When I came in Gally was touching him. Newt had his eyes closed and was trying not to cry. When I told Gally to step away from him he said, "Busted. Another time, pussycat." I shoved him against the wall and said if I caught him near Newt again I'd break every bone in his body. He scoffed and I broke his nose."

"You have a thing for breaking noses when it comes to Newt, don't you? You need to calm down. I said I was teasing earlier to calm Newt down, but if you keep this up you could get into trouble. Newt doesn't need that, and you know it. Now, I can try to get you a restraining order, but you can't confront him. If anything else happens, you walk away and tell me. You hear me?"

I nodded.

"Good that. Now, go cuddle him. He's a bit shaken."

I did as he said, and Newt leaned against me. He wasn't crying, but he was shivering and pale. 

"Are you cold?" I asked. He felt a bit cold to the touch.

"A little." 

I nudged him off my lap and took my coat off. It was big on his slender little body, but it would warm him up.

"Thanks, Tommy."

"Don't thank me, little one. I'm just looking out for you. I'm sorry I didn't go looking for you sooner last night."

"It's not your fault. Thanks for protecting me and coming all the way out here. I know you had plans today."

"Nothing that couldn't wait. Now, let's go somewhere for lunch and maybe we can go to the nice part of town for a while. Hm?"

He nodded with a tiny smile. 

Minho said to come back and check with him before we left Denver that day and we ventured out into the street again. No one messed with Newt this time. I wondered if him wearing my coat helped. Just as we got to the carriage, though, he looked over at the auction yards. I quickly blocked his view.

"Don't, sweetheart. You've been upset enough for one day."

"This your mate, shank?" someone asked, with a friendly tone. I turned to see a tall, muscular black-haired alpha with a square jaw.

"George?" Newt breathed. He looked so hopeful and nervous. 

The alpha did a double-take. 

"Newt?!"

Newt flung himself into the alpha's arms, saying things I couldn't make out. 

"Hey, easy there, easy. It's okay," George said, rubbing Newt's back. I was jealous, but at least Newt wasn't being felt up by some pervert. 

Newt pulled back and turned to me again.

"Can he come with us for lunch? Please?"

"Of course," I said. 

We climbed into the carriage. George sat across from Newt and me. 

"I've missed you so much, George. I think about you all the time. Tommy and I have been reading so many books." 

He started listing them off and the alpha looked proud.

"I told you! I'm glad. Are you two..." he looked between us.

Newt blushed a beautiful pink.

"We're friends," he said, smiling at me with the big smile he reserved for me and me only. I felt much better. "Tommy bought me when I was auctioned off. He just wanted to help me, and he takes good care of me."

George stuck a hand out. 

"I'm George, Newt's childhood neighbor friend."

"I'm Thomas. Nice to meet you."

"George...Sonya..." Newt said, biting his lip. 

George's face fell. 

"They sold her two years ago. I've been trying to find you two ever since. I'm sorry."

Newt's eyes filled with tears and he looked at me with complete defeat in his eyes. The same pain and fear I'd seen when he told me he'd broken up with Alby. I pulled him into a tight hug. 

"I've got you. We'll find her, I promise," I comforted. "I promise."

He struggled to control his tears and pulled away, hiding his pain.

"I'm sorry, George. I see you again after all this time and then I cry."

"Newt, it's fine. We cried all over each other when we were little. I've got a pretty good idea who bought her, and came here to see if the auction master had any information. This is the biggest omega auction yard in the territory. Then I saw you two and you looked like decent people so I decided to see if you could direct me to a hotel. I had no idea it was you."

"Well I'm glad you found me." 

Newt smiled at him. I noticed his arm was linked with me. I felt a whole lot better. 

We had lunch and I noticed George kept looking at Newt as if he were trying to see through him, but Newt rambled on about the mansion and Glade and books. It was adorable to see. He looked so happy. I was glad we'd come to Denver, even if our original purpose had a darker side to it. 

George said he had things to do after lunch and wished us a good day. I told him to drop in at the mansion sometime, which Newt seconded instantly. He laughed and said he would. 

Newt was still happy and bubbly when I gave the coachman directions to the secret destination I'd planned this morning. 

"You never told me about George," I said casually.

"I didn't really want to talk about it then. I had a complicated life, Tommy, and I'm not really up to sharing the story. He was my dear friend, but there are a lot of memories involving him that I prefer not to think about."

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" I asked, an edge to my voice.

"No, Tommy, he never hurt me. He taught me to read and was there for me when no one else was. Please don't ask any more," he said. His pleading look was one I had to give in to.

"Sorry. I'm glad we saw him."

"Me too. Where are we going?" he asked, peeking out the curtain.

"Don't!" I said, too loudly. He froze. "It's a surprise."

"Oh. Sorry." 

"It's fine, little one. It won't be a surprise for much longer."

It wasn't. We stopped in front of the little shop and I helped Newt out while he kept his hands over his eyes. I closed the carriage doors. 

"You can look now."

He dropped his hands and his eyes widened. 

"Tommy?"

"I thought you could use some company at home."

"How did you know I liked cats, though?" 

"It wasn't hard to guess," I said, smiling. "You seemed like a cat person." 

"And I get to pick one?"

I smiled at him. 

"Yep."

I was knocked backward by the impact of the hug. 

"Hey, easy there. Come on, we've got to pick you out a kitten."

"I can get a kitten?!"

I grinned. He looked so happy right now. 

"Yes, you can get a kitten," I said, laughing. 

We went into the shop and a young beta girl came up to us. 

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"We're just browsing," I said. 

She smiled. 

"Let me know if you need anything."

Newt was walking around almost in a daze, looking at all the cats and kittens with the most adorable little smile.

"There are so many. How am I going to choose?" 

"I don't know. They rescue abandoned cats and mother cats with kittens and give them to people who will take care of them, so they have a lot."

Eventually he sat down near a basket that held three adorably fluffy kittens. One crawled into his lap and he looked so delighted it had me grinning from ear to ear. 

"Aww! Look at her, Tommy! She's so cute!"

He started to pet the purring fluffball and looked at me hopefully.

"Can I have this one?"

My heart melted. 

"You can have whichever one you want."

"I don't want to separate her from her sisters, though," he said, sadly looking at the kitten. "I'll just have to find another, I suppose."

My heart almost broke. This wouldn't do. "There's three of them?"

He nodded, putting her back in the basket. 

"Well, I don't have a problem with having three cats, do you?"

He looked at me with the cutest little expression.

"I can have...all of them?" he breathed.

I nodded. 

He threw his arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you, Tommy! Thank you so much!"

The kitten let out a loud mew and he pulled back, staring at her. He looked at me. 

"She's so cute."

"Gather up your kittens. We'd better be getting home," I said, amused. 

He bundled the kittens in his arms and took them to the carriage while I signed all the paperwork. If I paid two hundred credits to adopt them, Newt didn't need to know. I was just glad he was so happy. My cheek still tingled where his lips had touched me. 

When we got home he found them a basket and put some old towels in it before fussing over how close to the fire it should be. When we finally went up to bed he stopped me outside his door. 

He kissed me on the cheek again, this time a lingering kiss that had me weak in the knees. 

"Thank you, Tommy. You don't know how much this means to me," he whispered, eyes welling with tears. 

"Shh, Newt." I hugged him. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?"

He nodded into my shoulder. 

We cuddled up in bed, him purring like the kittens downstairs and me wondering what I'd done in life to deserve this little omega's friendship and trust. Whatever it was, I was glad I'd done it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bloody tired right now.


	12. Threats

It had been a few months since we went to Denver and Tommy and I were getting closer each day. I was starting to think that maybe I really did have a crush on him. I caught myself daydreaming about him a lot now. I reminded myself of Brenda whenever I snapped out of it. I had no chance, and anyway, Tommy deserved better than me. He was always taking me places. Once we followed the creek north for days, camping each night. We'd figured out the first night that I got too cold alone and we'd shared a tent every night after that. It had been lovely. 

I relished every moment he was close to me, every goodbye hug, every time he ruffled my hair, the way he'd pat my shoulder when we were turning in after a long day and he was too sleepy to form words. 

The kittens had proven to be a handful at first, but now they loved Tommy and me and would follow us around the house. My favorite was the grey tabby who had first climbed into my lap. I called her Missy. She would sleep curled up on my chest at night, purring her little heart out, and her sisters, Eve and Rosie, would curl up beside me. They refused to sleep in their basket now. And they were growing fast. 

One morning Tommy woke me gently, saying, "Newt, your kittens are hungry."

"Wha?" I'd asked sleepily.

"The kittens are hungry."

"Kittens?" I mumbled, then woke up a bit more. "Kittens!" I sat up and Tommy laughed. "What?"

"You're adorable."

I blushed crimson and tried to form words.

"I...thank you. No one...well, no one's ever said anything like that to me."

"Not even Alby?"

"No. We really only went for walks and talked and read some books. We never even kissed."

"Aw, you poor thing." He hugged me. "You deserve to be cuddled and complimented and taken out on romantic dates. I'm sorry you don't have anyone to do that."

Tommy was so good to me.

Today I was in Glade buying books. The alpha who owned the bookstore and I were good friends now. She always had a recommendation for me, and sometimes gave me a discount if she knew I really really wanted a book but couldn't afford it with my book budget. Tommy was good enough to let me have pocket money, but I tried to set some aside for whenever we found Sonya. If we found Sonya. I told myself not to think that way. We'd find her and everything would be fine. 

"Thank you, Harriet," I said as she handed me my bag. 

"You're welcome. Enjoy them!" She gave me a brilliant smile and I returned it. Today was a good day. Tommy and I were going to start reading Jane Eyre and I'd planned to surprise him with an angel food cake.

I closed the door to the shop behind me and was happily walking along when I heard a voice say, "Hello, Newt." It was a cold voice, one I knew well, one I had learned to fear. I turned to face the alley he stood in. 

"Gally," I said nervously. 

Then I found myself pressed against a wall with alpha pheromones surrounding me. Angry, aroused pheromones. I was trembling now. Thoughts I never wanted ran through my head, the old fears of rape and slavery to a monster.

"Unlike Thomas," he spat the name, " _I_ am not made of sentimental mush. You will address me with respect, and stay in your place, which will soon be kneeling at my feet. I'm looking forward to taking you home tomorrow and fucking some manners into you." His hands were roaming now and he sucked marks onto my neck. I held back tears. "Quite roughly. Don't expect to be able to walk for a few days."

I was shaking with fear. I didn't understand. What was he saying? Where was Tommy when I desperately needed him?

"Didn't he tell you? I made a deal with that pathetic excuse for an alpha that owns you. You're _mine_ at sundown tomorrow. All the details have been worked out between us, quite thoroughly. All I have to do is come get you. I've already given him the money." His hands touched me more firmly, more intimately, and I had to fight to keep from closing my eyes and shrinking away from him. "Tomorrow night, I want you at the front door of that mansion at six. There will be severe consequences if you aren't there. Consequences you really don't want to face, believe me. Now, what do you say?"

"Yes, sir," I whimpered, a tear finally slipping down my cheek.

"That's better. Now trot on home." He stepped back a few strides. 

I practically bolted for the carriage, trying to control my tears. 

***

As I walked past the door of Newt's room I heard sobbing. I stopped to knock, but there was no response. I opened the door and moved slowly into the room, not wanting to startle him.

"Newt?" I asked softly.

He got up off the bed and threw himself into my arms, wrapping his around my neck and crying into my shoulder. The brief glimpse I'd caught of his face looked like he'd been crying for hours. I held the poor boy close, rubbing large circles on his back. I had never seen him like this. It frightened me. What was wrong?

"Hey, I've got you, little one. What's wrong?" I said soothingly. 

"Please, Tommy. Don't, please. I'll do better, I swear. Just tell me what I'm doing wrong. Please, I swear I'll fix it. Tommy, please don't. I'll work harder, just please don't. I'll do anything," he begged. "I swear, I'll work harder, I'll do anything you want me to."

"Easy, easy, Newt. Hey, it's okay. Don't what?" I pulled back to look at him properly. I was really concerned now. How was I involved in this?

"Please, Tommy. Don't sell me to Gally. Please." More tears spilled from his red-rimmed eyes.

I almost wanted to laugh at the idea, but the fact that he was already this upset stopped me, as well as the memories of what Gally had already done to the poor boy. Instead I cuddled him to my chest and guided him towards the bed. I sat down on the end and pulled him onto my lap. He was still desperately crying. I started rocking back and forth, knowing that always helped calm him.

"Now what gave you the idea I was going to do that?"

"He told me. He said you had worked everything out and he was taking me tomorrow. He said..." Newt squeezed his eyes shut briefly, as though blocking a bad memory. "Please Tommy, I'll do better. Please."

My heart broke at the way he was crying. Like his life depended on it. The way he said that, like he'd given up and was waiting for a death sentence. I pulled back again and moved my hands to his neck, gently caressing, in a way that suggested that he look me in the eye, but didn't demand it. He did, meeting my eyes with an empty expression that I would do anything to take away.

"Little one, I would never sell you. We made an agreement, and I'm holding to it." I soothed. "I wouldn't sell you anyway, especially not to the likes of Gally. He lied to you, sweetheart, it's all lies. I promise. I will never sell you to anyone. Never." 

His expression changed to one of such relief it physically hurt to see. 

"O-oh, Tommy!" He buried his face in my shoulder again, but I gently pulled back and began to kiss away the tears, which eventually stopped flowing, at least an hour later. He'd exhausted himself and weakly leaned on me, attempting to purr. 

"Oh, goodness, little one," I sighed, petting his hair as he snuggled against me. I shifted us so that we were lying down, Newt's head resting on my shoulder, and cuddled him as close as I could. "Sleep, sweet omega," I whispered. "Sleep. You're safe here."

He did, somehow managing to purr in his sleep, small hand spread over my chest. He would've looked adorable if it weren't for the tear tracks on his cheeks. I wanted to go get a glass of water and something for the headache he would inevitably have when he woke up, but I couldn't leave him right now.

So instead, I stroked the golden hair of the beautiful little omega I'd grown to love as he slept, and smiled at the way he leaned into the touch.

***

I woke up feeling drained and like my head was imploding, but not betrayed and broken inside, which was a good feeling. Gally had no power over me here. Plus the arms around me were arms I didn't mind around me. They were Tommy's arms, and Tommy had promised never to sell me.

"Hello, little one. I'll go get you something for that headache if you let me up," Tommy said softly.

"Thanks," I said, removing my arms from their lazy grip around him and shifted my head off his shoulder.

He ruffled my hair before he left and I smiled. Tommy was so good to me. I just wished I could tell him how I felt. I really did, but I knew I couldn't.

He came back with a few pills and a glass of water. I took them gratefully. He sat beside me.

"Do you want to talk?" 

"I'm alright." 

He gave me the classic "uh-huh, sure" look and I caved. 

"He terrified me in Glade and I felt so hopeless. You weren't there and he said he'd bought me from you. I was so scared and I thought like you'd betrayed me. I don't know why I believed him, Tommy. I know you'd never sell me, especially not to him." 

"You were scared of out your mind, of course you believed him. I'm glad you know that, though."

"Would..."

"What is it, little one?"

"Would you hug me?" I blushed.

"Of course. You don't have to ask," he said, wrapping his arms around me. 

I leaned into him, deeply breathing his clove and orange scent. He was warm and solid and reassuring. I relaxed. I was safe here. 

"I think we should go to Denver and talk to Minho again."

I nodded into his shoulder. 

"Okay." 

"Maybe we'll spend the night there, too."

I smiled a little. 

"You love adventures, don't you?"

He chuckled.

"You do, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor kitten.


	13. Arrest

I sat in Tommy's lap the entire trip, cuddling Missy in my arms. Tommy had insisted I bring her, knowing what a comfort she was to me. Tommy was so good to me. Being near him somehow made everything better. I had a year and two months left now. I found myself wishing it were ten years. I didn't want to leave. Maybe Tommy wouldn't want me to, and I could stay.

Right now, though, I was scared to death of Gally. My heart had sunk this morning when I saw the angry red/purple marks on my neck. I knew they would go away, but it felt like he had a claim on me, and I didn't want it.

We stopped outside the law office. I put Missy in the cat crate Tommy had bought a few weeks ago when we went traveling, so that I could bring the cats too. They were too big now to call kittens anymore, and still growing. 

"Uh-oh. What happened?" Minho asked when we came in. 

I tilted my head to show the marks. Tommy had growled when he saw them and muttered something I didn't catch. Now he just clenched his jaw. I remembered how Minho had kicked him out of the office last time for growling. It had made me nervous and thankfully Minho had seen that.

I started telling the story, as much as it pained me to think of it.

"He told me he'd bought me from Tommy and said to meet him outside the mansion at six...or there would be consequences. He said he would fuck some manners into me," I teared up, "and not to expect to be able to walk for a few days."

"Hey, take it easy, Newt. You're safe here," Minho said, reaching across his desk to touch my arm. It was comforting. I suddenly wondered if I found anyone else's touch comforting, other than Tommy, of course. I couldn't think of anyone. "That's sufficient to put him under arrest. I can do that today. He won't bother you again."

"Even with the unbalance in justice since Newt's an omega?" Tommy asked. I noticed his arm had sneaked around my waist at some point. I was grateful for the comfort.

"Technically, Newt is your property. You repeatedly told him to leave Newt alone, and he didn't. You can press charges of property damage and attempted theft. Since that applies to your omega property that you don't want anyone else messing with, the puniishment will be as severe as it ought to be for sexual harassment of an omega."

I suddenly realized how forward I had been with Tommy. I was first and foremost his property. I'd been making demands on his time, dared to think I might have a crush on him, and invaded the privacy of his own bedroom, selfishly seeking comfort I had no right to. I was ashamed. I was lucky Tommy--Thomas--was so kind to me and that he hadn't beaten me for my actions.

"I'll give you two a minute alone," Minho said, rising. As soon as he'd closed the door behind him, Tommy gently turned my head with the tips of his fingers to look at him. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," I said.

"No you're not. You've slumped, you're ducking your head again, and I can barely hear you."

"I was just reminded of my place, that's all." I kept my head down. I'd done enough already. I didn't want to risk angering him.

"And what's that?"

Right now I hated the gentle tone he was using. The one he always used when I was upset. I didn't deserve it. I had been selfish and been out of line for so long. I deserved to be beaten black and blue. I'd experienced that in the past and I really did deserve it now. I deserved to be starved, tied up, and scolded. Not spoken to soothingly.

"I'm your servant, sir," I said, truthfully. I was his servant, and I was grateful for it.

Thomas sighed. 

"Oh, little one."

He kissed me tenderly on the forehead. I looked up at him properly, surprised and a little frightened. Why had he done that? I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve comfort or caring. But when Thomas caressed my cheeks and looked me in the eye as he spoke I found the bad thoughts fading.

"You're my best friend. That's the truth and I never think of you otherwise. I forget you're only staying with me because you want to work off that debt. I hope that you aren't still scared I'll get mad at you and hurt you. I hope you trust me. I hope you think of me as a friend, too, but I've probably been making too many assumptions. But I don't want you to be a submissive slave. I want you to feel at home, and to know that I'll take care of you. That you mean so much to me. I've told you secrets no one else knows. You're my dearest, bestest friend and I don't want you to be afraid of me."

I choked up and wrapped my arms around his neck, drinking in his scent. Tommy always made everything better. He rubbed my back. His hands were so warm. When I finally let go of him he brushed my tears away and tapped the tip of my nose.

"Alright now, little one?"

I nodded. 

"Yeah. Thank you."

"It's fine."

He opened the door and gestured to Minho. 

"All good?" Minho asked.

I nodded.

"Good that. You two are free to go once Thomas signs some of these papers here."

They went over the paperwork while I tried to hold back the smile of contentment. Somehow the incident with Gally didn't matter now. I was Tommy's "dearest, bestest friend" and he'd kissed me on the forehead. If I concentrated I could still feel his lips on my skin. I wondered what it would be like to properly kiss him. 

No, Newt. Don't go there. You may be his best friend, but you aren't his mate, boyfriend, or anything similar. Stop thinking like that.

Tommy took me to a fancy restaraunt on the other side of town for lunch. My eyes widened at the sight of it. The building was elegant and sleek, with dark wood and gold trim and accents. I looked at him. I was much too common to be seen here. He simply smiled and took my hand. 

A beta in a suit, with bloody coattails, I might add, took us to our seats. A bouquet of blood red roses in a dark glass vase sat on the table, with tea lights placed around it.

The waiter appeared not long after. She was an omega with short dark hair. I was surprised by the fact that she was an omega. Working. In a public place. I suddenly liked the world a bit more.

"Thomas, long time no see. I would've come to visit, but we've been so busy I never got a chance. Plus Jorge hates it when I travel alone."

"Good to see you, too, Brenda. It's fine, I'm glad the business is doing well."

Brenda. I scrutinized her. Tommy had mentioned her quite a few times. "Brenda, my omega friend" "She's very pretty." "We've known each other for years." "Brenda always says" "Brenda this, Brenda that." She was pretty. She had curves any omega would be jealous of, and big dark eyes. Very pretty. 

"And who's this?" she looked between us in a way I would call suspicious. 

"This is Newt." He barely looked at me.

Not, "This is my friend Newt." with a big smile, the way he usually introduced me. Just, "This is Newt." and back to Brenda. 

I let them chat, sickenly jealous inside. Especially when I noticed she kept looking at his lips. Eventually she took our orders. Tommy ordered for me, saying I'd like whatever impossible-to-pronounce-probably-French-dish he ordered for me.

When she left our table and went back to the kitchen, Tommy said,

"I had a huge crush on her---"

I didn't stay to hear more. I stood up and started towards the door. Tommy waited until we were outside to take my arm and stop me.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not feeling well all of a sudden. I'm sorry."

It wasn't a complete lie. I was feeling so terribly jealous I didn't think I could eat anything. Especially not while listening to Tommy talk about bloody Brenda the entire meal. 

"Okay. It's alright. Let's just pop back in and tell Brenda to cancel our orders."

"I'll wait in the carriage," I said.

"Newt..."

"I'll be fine."

"I'd really feel more comfortable if you at least waited in the lobby."

"I'll be fine."

He sighed.

"Alright, but I'm walking you there."

He did, hand on my elbow. At one time, say half an hour ago, I would've loved the touch, but now I just wanted to be alone. I didn't want to think about him and Brenda. The more I thought the more flirtatious her smile seemed. And had she winked at him? She might've.

I sat sullenly in the carriage, mulling things over while absently petting Missy. Of course Tommy liked her. She was pretty, successful, I'd say, and had a charm to her that I knew I lacked. I, on the other hand, was plain, owned, and shy. I never stood a chance against St. Brenda. 

When Tommy climbed in he must've noticed I was on the opposite side of the carriage. But he still sat down beside me and started to put an arm around me.

"Tommy, I'd rather you didn't. I'll be alright, I just need a little space."

"I can take you to the doctor if you want me to. What's wrong?"

"I'll be fine, Tommy! I just need some rest." 

He looked concerned the entire way home.

He ushered me up to bed as soon as we did get home and offered to stay with me. I refused, needing time to myself so that I think. I fell asleep in the midst of my thoughts. 

When I woke up, Tommy was sitting on the edge of my bed, stroking my hair. He handed me a glass of water. 

"Here, drink some of this. You've got a bit of a temperature."

I felt my head. I was a little too warm. 

"I've been wrapped up in all of these blankets. I'm fine, Tommy."

"You slept all afternoon and all night. It's nine in the morning."

"I'm sure it's just the stress catching up to me. I'm fine now, Tommy. Promise."

He gave me a small smile.

"We need to go to Denver again, apparently. Minho says there's more paperwork."

"Alright. Let me go change."

"Okay, little one."

He ruffled my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gally will get what he deserves in the end.


	14. Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update you lucky shanks!!

I couldn't find Newt anywhere. The cats were all in the sitting room, curled up in Newt's armchair. I was glad I'd bought them. Newt seemed so content now, and it was adorable to find him napping with three fluffy cats cuddled up to him. Missy always slept on his chest. If either of the others tried to she'd swipe a paw at them. 

We were meant to be going to Denver and Newt had disappeared. He wasn't in his room. I was starting to worry. Had something happened to him?

I walked around a corner and stopped just before I bumped into someone. I was pulled directly into a deep, passionate kiss and hands roamed over my chest and shoulders. At first I was incredibly confused, but then the scent of vanilla and hazelnut filled my nostrils, with a sweet undertone. Then I understood.

Newt had gone into heat. His slender little body was pressed flush to mine and he was kissing me fiestily. It was a mindblowing kiss and for a moment all I wanted in life was to return the kiss, to make him _mine_ now and forever. But then I regained control of my senses and pulled away from him. 

"Tommy, please. I need you," he whimpered, trying to kiss me again.

"Newt, you're in heat," I told him.

"I don't care, Tommy. Please," he resisted my trying to push him away again. 

"It's okay. I'm going to take care of you." I would, but platonically. Without touching him intimately at all. I kept him from kissing me, though he was trying to very hard.

"Tommy!" He was getting frustrated. I understood, but I wasn't going to take advantage of him like this. 

"Come on, let's get you to bed." 

He purred at that and came with me, rubbing against me.

I selected a bedroom at random and he eagerly brushed past me and lay on the bed, exposing his neck and spreading his legs a bit, the image of submission. I wanted to mark him, I really really did, but I knew not to. I just lay down beside him and gathered him up in my arms. I would be there to support him, but I wouldn't take advantage of him in this state. It would be rape, almost.

At first his protests were based on him being sexually frustrated, but an hour later the heat was really kicking in and tears were welling up in his eyes. "Please Tommy. It hurts. Please, just take me," he begged. 

"Newt, you know you don't mean that. You're in heat."

"I don't bloody care, Tommy. I want you." He lay a hand on my chest and looked up at me with those big doe eyes, pretty pink lips parted. "Please."

I had to refuse him, of course, fighting my desire for him. After begging me for at least half an hour, the pain of the heat got too much for him and he slipped into hopefully restful semiconciousness. I left momentarily to get water, knowing Newt would be easily dehydrated during his heat. Poor darling, he didn't derserve this in any way. I felt terrible as I watched him, frowning with pain even in his sleep. It would be incredibly painful without an alpha to ease him, but I hoped having me there would at least make it a bit more bearable.

I must have dozed off, because I woke up to a lapful of aroused and willing omega. Newt's hands roamed my chest, making it even harder for me to resist.

"Please take me," he breathed, leaning close to my ear. He pressed a kiss to my jaw, and I pushed him away, not roughly, just enough to keep him off. This was going to be difficult.

Four days later Newt was sleeping peacefully, head on my chest and arm around my waist. His heat had broken last night, leaving him exhausted to the point of helplessness. I'd roused him a few times during the night to give him water, knowing he must be as desperate for it now as he had been for sex a few days ago. He'd begged and begged me to take him, and it broke my heart to see him crying when I refused him.

"Nn," he groaned. "Tommy?"

"I'm here." I rubbed his shoulder as proof. "How're you feeling?"

"Bloody awful. What...." He sat up then and looked at me with horror. It startled me a bit.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry." His cheeks burned with shame and he hung his head. "I'm so, so sorry, Tommy. I can't believe I did that."

Oh. Poor little thing. I felt bad for him. "Newt, come here," I said gently. He didn't move, so I shifted to hug him. "You were in heat. All omegas act like that in heat. Don't worry about it. It's not your fault, and I know you didn't mean any of it."

"I-"

"It's fine. Promise. Drink some of this." I handed him the glass of water. "I'm going to go start you some breakfast."

***

I gulped the water down, desparate for it. I cast my mind back to the first day of the heat. It was like something took over my brain, and the only word I could think was "alpha." Then more specifically, "my alpha." Then I searched for a name, but none fit. I was so hot. I was on fire. I needed my alpha, but who was he/she? 

_Thomas. Tommy._

He was my alpha. He was mine, and he would take care of me. I just needed to find him. I started quickly down the hall, trying to catch a scent of him. I did, eventually, and traced it to him. He stopped right in front of me, That would never do. I kissed him, trying to show through actions what I couldn't vocalize clearly. Then he pulled away from me. Why did he do that? He wasn't supposed to do that.

"Tommy, please. I need you," I said, attempting to get closer to him again. He held me away. He wasn't supposed to do this! I was his omega! He should be jumping at the chance to take me right now.

As time went on I realized he wasn't going to take me. He didn't want me, and that hurt almost as much as the heat. My alpha was _refusing me in heat._ My heart broke. He didn't want me at all. I cried a lot that day.

Now, I couldn't help wondering about it. Tommy had had the perfect opportunity to take me, with my consent. What alpha turns down an omega in heat? Especially one who's begging him to take him? Tommy must really, really, not like me. I mean, I knew he didn't _like_ me, but to turn me down in heat he must nearly hate me. I held back tears.

But they fell when Tommy came into the room. 

"Newt, do you--hey, what's wrong? C'mere."

I shook my head.

"It's okay, little one." He tried to hug me, but I turned away from him. "Newt, let me hug you. It's alright."

I shook my head again. 

"Can I sit here, then?" He pointed at the foot of the bed. I nodded reluctantly.

When he reached out to rub my leg I flinched and pulled my knees to my chest. 

"Don't touch me, please."

He looked distressed. 

"Why not, little one?"

I closed my eyes. 

"Please don't call me that."

"Newt," he whined. "Tell me what's wrong. I'm not upset with you. You didn't do anything wrong."

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it. I _couldn't_ talk about it. What would Tommy think of me? And every little thing he was saying and doing was reminding me that he didn't really mean it.

"Could you write it out?"

I hesitated. It wouldn't be as difficult on paper, but I still couldn't tell Tommy that I was upset because I thought he didn't like me. It was ridiculous, and even though I knew that, it still hurt like a bitch. 

"Please? I want to help you, but I can't if I don't know what's wrong."

I nodded. Fine. I could always leave. George and I had been writing. He'd take me in, and we could work on finding Sonya.

"Okay. I'll get you a pen and paper. It's okay, lit-Newt-I promise. Whatever it is, it'll be alright."

He reached out to touch me, caught himself, and withdrew his hand. He stood up and awkwardly left the room, looking back over his shoulder a few times.

I tried not to cry. The past few months had been delightful. We'd spent so much time together. I was beginning to think I loved him. In my heat I'd thought of him as my alpha. That had to mean something. I didn't see how it couldn't. I thought about when I'd kissed him the first day. It had been all one-sided, but his lips were so _soft_. I'd do anything to kiss them again. 

He came back in and set the pen and paper on the bedside table. 

"Come find me when you're done. I'll be in the kitchen, probably. It's okay, Newt. Promise."

I didn't respond and he left with a soft sigh. 

I brushed away the tears and started writing, feeling stupider with every word. This shouldn't hurt so much. I didn't tell him the whole truth, that I was falling in love and felt rejected, just the basics and that I felt bad for acting like that when it was clear it bothered him. 

When I finished I hesistated. I really didn't want him to actually see this. But he'd pester me for ages if I didn't and deep down my love-muddled mind thought maybe this could end alright. I snuck into the kitchen without a sound and set the letter on the counter, leaving before he turned around from the stove. I found Missy and her sisters in the sitting room and beckoned to them. They'd learned to come to that by me doing when I fed them. They followed me upstairs at a trot and jumped up into bed with me. 

I'd just wait for Tommy to come find me. Missy curled up on my chest and purred, blinking her blue eyes at me. I teared up a little. At least my cats loved me. And somewhere, maybe, Sonya still loved me and missed me as much as I lovd and missed her. Tommy had tried so hard to find her and still was, but there seemed to be no trace of her. George had come to a dead end as well. 

A few minutes later I heard the door open, but I didn't open my eyes. I couldn't. I couldn't bear to see the face Tommy must be making. 

When I felt the gentle kiss on my forehead, though, I opened them. Caramel eyes gazed back at me. I held my breath.

"Newt, I don't even know what to say."

"Just forget it. Forget I said anything. It's ridiculous anyway," I said, breaking the eye contact and trying to wriggle away. The cats made that difficult.

"No." 

It was an alpha command, not the usual kind tone Tommy used. I froze and looked back at him. 

"Newt, this isn't okay. This isn't something you can shrug off. I want you to listen to me, okay?"

I nodded. Tommy had never used an alpha command tone with me before. I was worried now. His words also worried me, a lot. 

"Where do I even start?" He ran a hand over his face. "Newt, you're beautiful. You are absolutely shucking gorgeous and every alpha that's ever seen you thinks so too, trust me. You are the best friend anyone could ever hope for. You're kind, sensible, resourceful, sympathetic, and you take care of me. You cook for me, keep everything clean, further my education with all those books we read, and you're there if I need to talk. I told you about my mom. No one knows about that except you. Because I trust you. Because you're my bestest best friend. My confidant. I don't know what I'd do without you. You made this place a home. You changed it from a place I hated with a passion to the place I look forward to returning to at night. But it's more than that that I look forward to. There's a hug and a warm smile and someone who's eager to hear about my day, good or bad. You're here and that's what's made this place feel like home. I'm sorry I haven't made it clear how much you mean to me. I will _always_ be here for you when you need me. Heats are no different. You would've felt used and betrayed if I _had_ taken you. I wasn't going to do that to you."

I felt like the dumbest shuckfaced slinthead ever. Of course Tommy cared about me, and it made perfect sense for him to refuse me because of it. He didn't know I would've loved it if he'd taken and bonded me. He'd taken care of me in the only way he could, given the state I was in. I felt terrible for thinking the way I had.

"I'm sorry, Tommy. I'm sorry," I said, choking up. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's perfectly natural for you to feel rejected. A lot of single omegas around here have a heat partner to help ease the pain. If you want to, I'm sure we can find you someone."

I was horrified at the idea. Give myself to someone who wasn't actually someone I'd want to bond with? Losing my virginity before bonding? Having sex with someone other than Tommy? No. I'd just wait it out like I had this time around.

"Hey, it's just a suggestion. You don't have to. Breathe, Newt. Breathe."

I realized I'd frozen in place and blinked a few times. 

"Sorry."

"Little one, please don't be sorry for everything. It's alright. I wasn't thinking. I know you wouldn't want that."

"I just couldn't, Tommy. It's against my stupid principles. I don't know why I care anymore. I'm not going to find someone who loves me."

I was shocked at myself. But it was the truth. Who cared if I lost my virginity before bonding? Who would bond me? I wouldn't feel right bonding with anyone who didn't know everything about my past ad loved me anyway, and I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. I'd tried convincing myself to tell Tommy numerous times, but I couldn't. It would ruin everything we had and I couldn't have that. 

"Yes, you will, Newt. For all you know, there's someone out there right now who loves you and you don't know it."

"The only person out there who has any interest in me is Gally. Alby has a girlfriend now. He's moved on. And if my only option is Gally, I'll jump off this building just like I d--"

I stopped myself from blurting out my biggest secret. Tommy looked heartbroken. I thought he'd cry.

"I don't mean that. I wouldn't, Tommy, really I wouldn't. But there isn't anyone out there. We should get going if we're going to Denver. I'm sure Minho's worried about us. It's been days."

"We're not going to Denver. I had someone take a message to him to explain things when I was downstairs."

"Tommy--"

"--Today you're going to take a nice long hot shower while I make breakfast, then we'll eat that, make a mess of the kitchen baking brownies, pack a lunch, go picnic somewhere and cuddle and eat too many brownies, watch birds, come home late and have tea in front of the fire, play with the cats, I'm going to make you a proper fancy dinner, and you're off to bed early while I clean up."

"Tommy--"

"--No arguements."

I sighed.

"You're too good to me Tommy. I don't deserve it."

He kissed me on the forehead. 

"Yes you do. Are we okay now?"

"Of course we are. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

"You didn't, sweetheart. Now, shower. I've got stuff to do." 

H gave me a smile which told me everything was okay and I did as he said. I just wished he loved me the way I loved him.


	15. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bloody sorry for the seemingly endless delay! I'm back now, though!! This chapter jumps ahead in time a bit, but don't worry, the next one will be sort of a flashback to what came in between, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Thank you again for your patience!!

I heard quite the commotion downstairs and went to investigate, concerned. My concern turned to panic when I met two men at the foot of the stairs. They were carrying an unconscious Tommy, who had a bloody gash on his forehead. I rushed down the stairs, feeling faint. Tommy was hurt. My alpha was hurt. I was desperate for anything I could do to help him. He needed to be put to bed. I could do that.

"What happened?" I asked, determined not to break down in front of them. Despite my best efforts, my voice cracked.

"His horse spooked and threw him. We've sent for Doctor Clint."

"Thank you. Bring him in here," I said, guiding them to Tommy's room. 

"We'd better be going now, if you're alright with him," one said.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you for bringing him back. Any idea where his horse is?" Tommy loved that horse. I hoped he hadn't run away.

"Last we saw someone was trying to catch hold of him. I'll see if I can find out what happened to him, if you like."

"Yes, please. Thank you again for bringing him back."

After they left, my composure crumbled and I lay my head on Tommy's chest, sobbing.

"Please be alright, Tommy. Please wake up," I begged.

I reined in my emotions and got a damp cloth. I gently washed away the blood and stroked his hair while waiting for the doctor. The wound didn't look as bad as it had before, but it was still bad.

I jumped up and bounded down the stairs to the door when I heard the loud knock. 

"Where is he?" Clint asked.

"Up here." I quickly led him to the bedroom.

I stood anxiously in the doorway while Clint examined him. He had a serious expression when he finished and looked at me. 

"Will he be alright?" I asked faintly.

"He's experienced severe head trauma. I won't lie to you. His condition is not good at all. I'd say he has a thirty percent chance of living."

"No." I choked on the word. Tommy....Tommy couldn't _die._ I needed him. I _loved_ him.

"I'm sorry, Newt. I've done what I can." He clasped my shoulder for a moment before leaving. 

I stood there, tears streaming down my face, staring at him. I eventually sat on the bed and held his hand. If he knew I was there he wouldn't leave me. He wouldn't.

Hours passed, and I'd shifted to lay my head on his shoulder. I nuzzled his neck, drinking in his scent, like clove and orange. A scent I'd grown to love and depend on. The scent of my alpha. All he had to do was say he wanted me, and I was his. Even if he never said anything of the sort, I was his, always. I had realized that when Alby and I were seeing each other. I was Tommy's, faithful unto death. He wasn't going to die. Not now. Not for a very, very long time. 

"I never really told you about myself, did I? Just little things here and there. I never told you the truth of what my childhood was like." I decided to talk to him. Maybe he'd hear and recognize my voice. He'd wake up then, I knew he would. "You know about Sonya. I spent most of the time looking after her, protecting her. Taking the blame for things so that my parents wouldn't hurt her. And in return, she gave me a reason to go on living. My parents drank, and gambled. When I was born, they were rich, living in a fancy house. Not like this, but still respectable. They were disappointed that I was an omega. Started fighting. Took to drinking and gambling. By the time I was old enough to really remember what was going on, we lived in a shack and they were taking it out on me. I tried to protect Sonya, who was just a baby then. When I was six, they beat me nearly unconscious for talking to an alpha boy who lived near by. When I'd recovered a bit, I climbed the tallest tree I could find, and jumped." I wiped away a tear. "I just couldn't take it any more. All I succeeded in doing was breaking my leg rather badly. Mum was sober enough that she had some compassion, and got a doctor. It healed, but it gives me trouble sometimes. After that the debts started growing and growing and it was an easy decision to sell me to pay them. The rest of my life was mostly spent tied where there was no possible way I could spoil my virginity, and it was beaten into me that I had to be respectful and submissive. That's why it took me so long to trust you."

I sighed. "Now poor Sonya's there all alone, or has been sold too. I can only hope she's alright."

I stayed there like that for hours, listening to his heartbeat. Tommy would be okay. He had to be.

When I woke up, I just lay there for a moment, listening to his heartbeat. When I realized there was an arm around me, though, I gasped and sat up quickly. I barely registered the fact that his eyes were open before peppering his face with kisses, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. 

"I love you, Tommy. I love you so bloody much," I half-sobbed between kisses. When he didn't react at all I pulled back and looked him in the eye. What I saw there hurt deeply.

"You don't remember me, do you?" I whispered.

He shook his head slowly and my heart broke. I collasped beside him into the worst cry I'd had in years. I hardly noticed when he pulled me close and pet my hair. 

Tommy _didn't remember me._ He didn't remember how our friendship had grown and blossomed. Didn't remember that he'd told me his life story, poured out secrets he'd never told anyone else. He didn't remember all the evenings by the fire with tea and books he'd bought me. Didn't remember how much he loved my brownies with walnuts. He didn't remember and it hurt so bad.

"I'm so sorry," I heard him whisper, and reined in the tears. 

"It's not your fault. You hit your head," I choked.

"I should've known not to trust that horse."

That took my by surprise. "You remember what happened?"

"I can remember my whole life, just not you. The past two months are a little hazy, but I remember some. Lots of time in Glade, going to Denver a few times. Work around the estate." He looked so sad. "I'm so sorry. Were we...."

I shook my head. "We were friends."

He hugged me again, rocking from side to side. "I'm so sorry, little one. We were very close, weren't we?"

I nodded into his chest. Drinking in his scent. It comforted me. Even if Tommy didn't remember me, we could become good friends again. Although it was still tearing me apart that he didn't remember any of the wonderful times we'd had.

He wouldn't remember the kittens, reading with me, none of it.


	16. Birch

As I sat in the kitchen, staring at a cookbook but seeing no words, I remembered the day after my heat. I smiled sadly. It had been perfect. Me and Tommy, carefree and happy. Now he couldn't remember it.

I'd showered and gotten dressed in clean clothes, feeling so much better as the aches and pains washed away. Tommy had a proper English breakfast on the table and I felt my heart skip a beat. Tommy was so good to me. He'd set the table so I was sitting right next to him, and maybe he'd even moved the chairs closer together.

Tommy rested a hand on my thigh during the whole meal. We didn't talk, just enjoyed each other's presence. When we finished, Tommy insisted on cleaning up, and asked me to go fetch a pen and paper. I did, grateful to have such a kind, caring friend. 

He had a cookbook on the table, open to a brownie recipe. 

"Now, these are good brownies, but what do you think would make them better?" he asked. 

I scanned the recipe. "Well, doubling it, for starters. That doesn't make very many."

He nodded. "See if you can work that out." He gestured to the paper. 

It was pretty easy to do so, and then I hummed. "Adding walnuts."

His eyes widened. "That is such a good idea. I never thought would have thought of that."

I thought for a moment, working out how much. I decided on two thirds of a cup and wrote that down. 

We tweaked the recipe for a while longer before we started making them. As he'd said, Tommy and I made a huge mess and I was soon crumpled in the floor giggling with flour in my hair and cocoa smudges on my face. I was _happy._

"Why don't you take another shower while these cook?" Tommy asked, a little breathlessly. I assumed it was because of all the laughing. 

I nodded, still trying to catch my own breath, and started for the stairs. When I came back down, clean and dressed in clean clothes, Tommy had a picnic lunch packed and we started walking the grounds. 

Tommy frowned, as if he couldn't find a good spot.

"How about there?" I pointed to a shady spot along the hedge garden. 

He hummed, shaking his head. 

"Oh! I know!" he exclaimed, grabbing my hand. He pulled me along for what seemed like forever, until we hit the creek. He turned downstream.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!"

I grinned. Oh, Tommy. Tommy Tommy Tommy. 

Finally he stopped, turning towards me. 

"Close your eyes." 

"Tommy, we're practically in the woods. I'll trip and fall."

"No you won't; I'm right here."

I closed my eyes, but not before rolling them. 

He led me along carefully for a short distance further.

"There. You can open them now."

I did, slowly. I was met with the sight of an ancient, gnarly birch tree It was covered in moss, like the ground around its wide and twisted base. I was delighted.

"Like it?" Tommy asked. 

I nodded with a big smile. I probably looked ridiculous, to be honest, but Tommy didn't seem to care. He simply ruffled my hair and settled himself between two roots, patting the space beside him. 

It was almost magical that we fit perfectly, snugly held close by the roots of the tree. Tommy fiddled with the picnic basket and pulled out sandwiches and iced tea. He handed me my portion before snuggling even closer to me, leaning his head against mine. My eyelashes fluttered with the pleasure of it. Tommy was so close to me, cared about me so much, that it almost overwhelmed me. I thought I could cry. 

I snuggled closer to him, curling myself to lay my head on his shoulder, and we munched on our sandwiches in content silence.

When we'd finished those, out came the brownies, still warm from the oven. Tommy took a bite of one and his eyes widened. 

"'Evse uhr fo goo'" he said, and I started laughing. He swallowed. "Seriously, though, these are _so good_."

"I'm glad you like them," I said with another laugh. I then took a bite of my own...and couldn't agree with him more. 

We ate the dozen he'd brought with us and leaned back against the tree. Tommy's arm had found its way around me at some point. I hummed, contented. 

"You're warm," Tommy murmured. 

"So are you."

"Mm. You're awful cuddly, too."

I was sure I was blushing. 

"So are you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. 'S nice."

"You sound sleepy."

"So do you," I said through a smile.

"We could take a nap here, if you want."

I nodded, turning a bit to get more comfortable. 

"This okay?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Of course, sweetheart." 

He'd called me that a few times, but I knew he couldn't mean it in that way, because a) Brenda, and b) we probably would have talked about it. I could pretend he did, though, and that made me feel really good inside.

I woke up to Tommy snoring and held back a giggle when I looked up at him. His hair was mussed up and full of twigs (however that happened) and his mouth had fallen open in his sleep. I reached up and gently closed it, which woke him up. He blinked and looked around. 

"The bloody hell are we doing here?" he asked.

Then it was my mouth that fell open. Had he just...

"What?" he asked, frowning.

"Did you just say bloody hell?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"Because you definitely picked that up from me and I've hardly ever said it." 

"Well, maybe I think you're cute when you say it an it stuck with me." 

I blushed. Tommy thought I was cute when I swore? Really? 

"How long do you think we were asleep?" he asked, changing the subject.

"With our luck, a thousand years and everything will be different when we get back."

"Now that would be an adventure."

"I love this tree," I said, leaning back on it. "It's like some old guardian, watching over the littler trees. The sort of thing you'd expect in a painting."

"Do you paint?" 

"Not really. Well, I haven't in years, but I was never very good." 

"Do you like it, though?"

"Yeah. I did. It relaxed me when the days were tough. Even if all I did was make a mess trying to mix the perfect color."

"I wish I'd met you sooner." 

I shifted to look at him. He was looking back at me, sadly. 

"I could've taken care of you. You wouldn't have so much to try not to remember, and I'm really not helping right now am I? Talking like this?"

"It's fine, Tommy. It's not like I'm going to have a panic attack or something. I just don't want to talk about it in detail. There's just too much. And please don't go asking George for information. I'll tell you, I'm just not ready yet."

I looked down. He kissed my forehead.

"No hurry, Newt. I'll wait as long as you need me to. We should start back now, though." 

So we did, holding hands and walking so slowly, shoulders bumping. Eventually Tommy pulled me closer so my head leaned on his shoulder as we walked, and his arm went around my waist. I mirrored the gesture, eager for whatever physical contact he'd give me. I loved him so much. 

He sent me upstairs to change into my pyjamas as soon as we got home, ignoring me when I laughingly asked why.

Home. This was home. Here with Tommy and my three cats, who were waiting for me on my bed. I smiled and gave them all a quick pet before I went downstairs. They trailed behind me, of course. Tommy led me into the sitting room, where a new armchair was in the place of the one I used to sit in, which was gone. I looked at him questioningly. 

"I thought this one would be more comfortable for you. Especially since you like to lay sideways with your legs over the arm while you read." 

This was a habit I hadn't noticed before, but it was true. 

"But when did you get it?"

"I ordered it a while ago. It took me ages to pick the color." 

I looked at the armchair more closely. It was dark green, and looked like velvet. I cautiously went over to it and brushed my hand over the arm. Definitely velvet. I sat in it. Very very comfy. I didn't think I'd ever want to get out of it. 

"Do you like it?" Tommy asked, nervously.

I jumped up and hugged him. 

"I love it, Tommy. Thank you." 

"You're welcome. Now, you and the kittens enjoy your new chair while I make dinner." He ruffled my hair and smiled before he left the room. 

We both referred to the cats as kittens, even though they were pretty much grown up now. I sat back down, patting the chair. They all jumped up with me, Missy possessively in my lap.

I cuddled them and meditated on the day I'd had so far. Tommy was so sweet and caring, I could hardly believe it. No alpha was this kind and gentle. Not even George. I loved him so much it hurt, and now I knew he liked Brenda. That hurt even more. 

But even if Tommy liked her, he still made _me_ Tikka Masala chicken and rice, and tucked me into bed with a goodnight forehead kiss and a "sleep well, little one." And I was happy, even as I was sad, because Tommy was my best friend, and he said I was his, too. Tommy had taken all my fears and insecurities and turned them upside-down today. 

And now he couldn't even remember the little smile he'd given me from the doorway before he turned out the light. I cried, sinking to the floor of the kitchen, clutching the paper we scribbled and scratched our brownie recipe on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I've updated! Again, I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. More to come soon!
> 
> I can't belive all the hits, comments, and kudos this story has! Thank you so much for your support!


	17. Forgotten

When I woke there was a very very very beautiful omega sleeping with his golden blonde head resting on my chest. I put an arm around him, wondering who he was. I thought back to the fall. I knew that horse was going to be trouble. I felt like somebody would be upset to know that it had happened, but I didn't know who. A few minutes later his eyes opened, but he didn't move for a moment. When he did it was to start kissing my cheeks and forehead with such urgency it surprised me. 

"I love you, Tommy. I love you so bloody much," he said, in a delightfuly accented voice, although he sounded like he might cry at any moment. He loved me? Called me Tommy? What had I forgotten? 

He stilled and pulled back, looking me in the eye. I wracked my mind for a memory of this angel. 

"You don't remember me, do you?" he whispered, trembling.

I shook my head, unsure what to say. Was he my bondmate? My boyfriend? I didn't know, and that hurt. He was clearly special to me. He'd said he _loved_ me. I didn't have any more time to think. He'd burst into heaving sobs and was curled into a tight ball beside me. I gently pulled him closer and ran my fingers through his fluffy hair. 

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. I had never felt this badly before in my life. 

"It's not your fault. You hit your head."

"I should've known not to trust that horse."

He looked surprised. "You remember what happened?"

I knew I'd have to tell him eventually, so I said as gently as possible, 

"I remember my whole life. Just not you. The past two months are a little hazy, but I remember some. Lots of time in Glade, going to Denver a few times. Work around the estate." The poor omega looked heartbroken. "I'm so sorry. Were we...."

He shook his head, looking down. "We were friends."

That didn't take back what he'd said earlier, though. I hugged him, somehow knowing that rocking from side to side was the right thing to do. "I'm so sorry, little one. We were very close, weren't we?"

He nodded into my chest.

"You said you loved me," I said hesitantly.

He pulled back. "I do. You didn't feel the same way, though. I never would've told you. I hardly told you anything about myself. I never needed to. We were good friends anyway."

"But you love me." The fact hurt me. He'd told me he loved me and I didn't remember him.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're alive. I'd better send someone to fetch Clint." Before I could stop him he was gone. 

"I need to see Minho," I sighed to myself.

After being poked and prodded by the doctor and having the little omega fuss over me for a while, I finally managed to be allowed to go down to the sitting room and have tea. The omega sent a message to Minho for me and sat across from me in the other armchair. I didn't remember buying it. Or any of the books that were now stocking the shelves around the room. 

"You don't remember any of this," the omega said, gesturing to the books. "You bought them for me. You'd randomly bring one home with you after a day on the estate. I've read them all, and you've read most of them. We used to sit here just like this in the evenings and talk about them. We were just starting North and South."

Buying these books meant that I really cared for the boy. Now I felt even worse.

"I think that was the door. I'll go and see," he said, hurrying from the room.

A moment later Minho came in. "You shank, what have you done to him?"

"Yes, I'm feeling much better after falling off my horse and getting knocked out, thanks."

"No, seriously, what did you do to Newt? He looks like his favorite kitten died. Oh no, she didn't, did she?" 

"Newt?"

"Yes, Newt." He rolled his eyes.

"Is that his name?"

"Thomas, don't start."

"I can't remember him! Is that his name?"

Minho just stared at me. He ran a hand over his face and turned away before looking back at me. "You _don't remember him?_ "

I shook my head. 

"You don't remember going all the way to my office in shucking Denver six or seven times to rant about how much you love him? 'Newt did this' 'Newt said that' 'Newt and I are reading this book' 'He's so cute, I can hardly stand it'."

My heart sank. I loved him. I loved him and I couldn't even remember his name. 

"Hey, don't shucking cry. I'm sure you'll remember everything soon. What all do you think you can't remember?"

"I don't know, I can't remember!" I almost shouted, then took a deep breath. "I don't remember anything about him. It feels like I'm missing something. I look around and everything's different. It feels like a home, and it didn't before. It was just...empty. I moved in with Teresa, and then she left, but I don't remember when or why. What happened? Who is he?"

Minho sat in the loveseat and shook his head. "You came to Denver to sort out the inheritance, and as you were laving you saw him in the auction yard. You for some reason felt compelled to help him, so you bought him for over a thousand credits."

I bought him?! Why the hell would I do something like that? I hated the omega trade.

"Calm down, I'm not finished. You told him he could leave at any time. You only bought him so that no one else would, so they couldn't hurt him. He insisted on working off what you'd paid for him. You'll find he can be quite stubborn. It was supposed to take him two years. You've got a ledger somewhere, I'm sure he knows where. He's been here for about a year."

He'd been here for nearly a year. And I couldn't remember. 

"Anyway, you bought him clothes in Glade and the two of you settled in quite nicely. It took you ages to earn his trust, but you did, and then you started falling in love. You started buying him books and cookbooks and art supplies. He painted that," he pointed to a very nice oil painting of the mansion that was hung above the mantle. "You even got him three kittens. You and he were very close. Newt knows you better than I do."

"It hurts that I can't remember."

"I'm sorry. If you need to talk about anything, or think you remember something but aren't sure, let me know."

I nodded.

"Two things. Beware of Gally. Bad things happened. He gave Newt some unwanted attention and you've been at odds ever since. Also, Newt has a sister named Sonya. You've been trying to find her since you brought him here. You've got another ledger Newt undoubtably knows the location of. It's where you keep your notes."

"Thanks."

I heard a knock. "Come in."

It was Newt. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. Do you want a fresh pot of tea?"

"No, thank you."

He gave me a small, sad smile. "Anything in particular you want for dinner?"

"I can't think of anything." 

"Make him that stew of yours. That'll perk him up a bit." Minho smiled at Newt. "I'd go as far as to say that I think that stew, given time, will restore his memories. It's good stuff."

Newt gave him the same little sad smile and left the room. I hung my head. 

"It'll work itself out, Thomas. Give it time."

"He's never been like this before, has he?" I looked him in the eye.

Minho shook his head. "I'm sorry. He seems to be quite shaken. He'll be alright, though. Don't worry. He's made of stern stuff. I've got to go now. Take it easy, you hear me?"

I nodded. As soon as he was gone I went into the kitchen. 

Newt was poring over a cookbook, back to me. I knocked on the doorframe. He jumped. 

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I tend to spook easily in here." He had an odd expression.

"Why?" I asked gently.

"You need to sit down. You're swaying like the top of the Picnic Birch," he said, avoiding the question. He helped me to a chair.

"What's the Picnic Birch?"

A crease formed between his eyebrows and he chewed his lower lip for a moment. 

"It's one of the birches along the creek to the west. The really old with with all the moss. We used to go there for picnics once a week as long as the weather was nice."

"Oh." 

"Can I get you some tea or something?"

"No, thanks though. Why do you get jittery in here?"

"It has to do with Gally. He's...harassed me a few times. The worst time was in here. He snuck away from a dinner party. Who knows what he would've done if you hadn't showed up."

"Did I beat him to a pulp?" I asked, hoping the answer was yes. No one was going to bother or hurt this little omega while he was under my roof. I hoped I'd taught Gally that lesson quite thoroughly.

"No, but you threatened to, and you broke his nose. It's crooked to this day," he said, giving me a little smile. "You've always protected me."

My heart warmed. He trusted me. That was good. I'd hate to find out that he was scared of me.

"I always will," I told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little Tommy POV. There will be more chapters to fill the gap between their day at the Picnic Birch and Thomas's memory loss. I'm thinking three.


	18. Anything

Tommy had gone back into the sitting room when I told him there wasn't really anything he could do to help. I thought back to the day after we'd gone on our picnic.

I woke up early, and watched the sunrise out my window before showering. I thought back to yesterday. Tommy had no idea what he meant to me, and he never would. I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I cared about him. 

Today, though, we had to go to Denver. We had to get this sorted out and Gally needed to be dealt with.

I heard a soft knock on the door as I finished buttoning my shirt and opened it. Tommy was similarly dressed in a button-down and slacks. He looked very sharp. I blushed a little and stopped staring. 

"You okay?" he asked. 

"Yeah, fine!" I said, much too cheerfully.

"I'm so sorry about all of this. It isn't fair to you at all."

"It's fine, really," I said, with an artificial smile. 

He sighed and pulled me into a hug. 

"No it isn't, Newt. You don't deserve all this harassment nonsense. Not that it's nonsense, I just meant--"

"--I know, Tommy."

"Well, it isn't fair that you, sweet, caring little you, of all people, have to deal with this. You were supposed to be safe and happy here."

"I am, Tommy. I haven't been entirely safe the whole time, I know, but I'm happy here. And I've got you to protect me." I pulled back and smiled at him, genuinely. "You're a good alpha, Tommy. Yesterday...yesterday was perfect. You always know how to make me feel better when I'm upset, and that isn't an easy thing to learn about a person. That shows you care. And I appreciate that more than I can say. I think I could go through anything as long as you were on the other side." 

He gave me a puppy face, both sad and happy at the same time. He opened his mouth to speak, but didn't seem to have any words. My heart melted. 

"Oh, goodness. C'mere," I said, pulling him into another hug. He held me tight, nosing at my neck. Scenting me. My eyes fluttered shut and I tilted my head. 

The feeling of being scented is hard to describe. It's a rush of emotion through your entire body, almost overwhelming. The dealer had scented me once, when he bought me, and it left me feeling confused and upset. He'd wanted to make sure I'd presented as an omega. But to me it felt so intimate, sacred almost, and I felt like I'd had something stolen from me. The happiness flooding my system had confused me. I was terrified of what this man was going to do to me. I'd had no doubt I would be bought, raped to break me in, and then sold to someone who might treat me even worse. All this fear in my ten year old mind, and then this rush of something pleasurable made me feel manipulated. It made me even more scared of him, in the end. 

And Tommy had scented me once before, the day after he'd bought me. It had been surprisingly different. It felt like I was giving him that, rather than him stealing it. I'd pushed the happy feeling away, of course, not wanting to be lulled into a false sense of security before he hurt me. It had scared me, but there was so much else about him that was good that it didn't make me terrified, like I'd been of the dealer.

But I trusted Tommy now. I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He'd never even raised his voice, directed at me, anyway, let alone taken a whip to me and ground against my hip to remind me that I was nothing. Tommy was good and kind and _safe_. I always felt so safe with him. Though I'd never been drunk, this was what I imagined it being like. Just floating, with no fear of falling or drifting away, just floating in bliss. I shuddered and pressed closer, one hand going to play with the hair at his nape. I was barely conscious of doing so. 

I assumed it was the lingering hormones of my heat that were arousing me, and I told myself to pull back. Just pull back now and smile. But I couldn't. I needed this feeling, _needed_ it with such intensity. I wanted him closer, closer, closer. Wanted to feel his lips on mine, his hands on my skin. _Needed_ it. 

And then he stepped back. I might've swayed with the loss, I didn't know. I felt disoriented for a few moments, enough that he asked if I was okay. 

"Fine. Just...sleepy, I guess," I lied swiftly. 

"Well, you can sleep in the carriage if you like. We'd best get going, though."

"Yeah..." I blinked a few times, trying to pull myself back to reality.

I followed him down to the carriage and climbed in. He held an arm out and patted the seat next to him. I eagerly sat there, snuggled up with his arm around me. He pressed a small kiss to my forehead which didn't help my blissful state to dissipate. 

"Get some sleep, little one," he whispered.

I smiled and closed my eyes, taking his hand. 

I must have slipped into some sort of trance, because I woke up/came to with a hand rubbing my shoulder. I still felt all fuzzy and drunken, but I had enough of my wits about me to recognise that we were stopped in front of Minho's law office.

"Hey there, little one."

I smiled up at him, managing not to snuggle up closer and kiss him. We went inside, me entirely too close to him and holding his hand, but I just couldn't stop myself. 

Minho frowned as we came into his office. He and Tommy exchanged greetings. Minho frowned harder and he asked to speak with Tommy outside. I took the opportunity to slap myself in the face and shake myself. It sort of helped. Why couldn't I shake this? It had been hours. Why did I still feel all floaty? 

When they came back in Minho handed my a cup of black coffee and I realized _he knew_. I blushed violently and gulped the coffee down. That did help, and I finally felt back to normal. Tommy acted all weird and I wondered if this is what Minho had wanted to talk to him about. I kept my head down and didn't meet either of their eyes, but thankfully no one said anything about it and we went about our legal business.

After about two hours we were all tired, but at least we were finished. Tommy didn't take my hand as we left, which made me feel selfconscious. Maybe what had happened earlier had ruined something. I couldn't help getting high on the feeling that someone cared about me. I hadn't felt that way in years. Maybe I was a little touch starved, but surely Tommy understood... It wasn't like he didn't hug me and even occasionally kiss me on the forehead. 

"Tommy, I'm sorry," I said. The carriage was headed towards the downtown area with all the shops Tommy had mentioned.

He looked startled. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." 

"What?" 

"I didn't mean to get like that. I guess I'm just sensitive, what with the lack of affection for years."

"What?" he asked again, still looking confused. 

I frowned. What wasn't he getting?

"I don't understand. What are you talking about?" 

"The scenting thing." 

He looked even more confused. I realized I'd put my foot in it. He hadn't even known. 

"I still don't understand." 

"Um, it's not really important," I said, trying to save myself. 

"No, you can tell me." 

"I...well. Um," I floundered. How did I put this? "When you scented me, the um. The chemical response. I got all floaty. That's why I was all...weird."

His expression softened in understanding, then he seemed to panic. 

"I'm so sorry. I didn't...I wasn't. Shuck. I'd never...I'm so sorry."

Now it was my turn to be confused. 

"What are you on about?" 

"I wasn't trying to take advantage of you. I'd never. I just...needed to be close." His eyes flickered between mine, searching for understanding. 

"Tommy, I never thought that."

He sighed in relief. 

"I just wanted to explain and apologize for getting all weird and touchy." 

"It's fine, Newt. I'm just glad you didn't take it the wrong way." 

"I thought Minho was talking to you about it. That's why he brought me the coffee." 

"No, he..." Tommy blushed. "It was something else. I mentioned that you were probably still sleepy and he brought the coffee to help you wake up." 

"I wasn't asleep," I said, then mentally slapped myself. They hadn't even known. And I'd gone and brought it up and made a fool of myself.

"You weren't?" he asked, eyes going wide. 

"No, I was in some sort of trance, I guess. I was lucid. Not awake but not sleeping."

"Oh!" He blinked a few times and chewed his lip. "You went into omegaspace." 

I frowned. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm serious." He then looked sad. "Oh goodness, Newt. Going into omegaspace because of scenting? Little one...why didn't you tell me?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Newt, if you went into omegaspace from something as simple as scenting...that's not normal. You're completely touch starved."

"But...we're always...I can't be."

"You are. So much that even as much as I cuddle you isn't enough. C'mere." 

He pulled me into his lap. It did feel really good. I had always assumed that was just because I had a not so little crush on him. 

"I'm sorry I never noticed. I've got you."

"Tommy, I'm fine." 

"You're not, honey, you just don't know it."

"I don't understand."

"Omegas need touch and affection. It's part of your biological makeup. You _need_ touch. Otherwise it can...do things to you."

"Like what?" I asked, warily. He was starting to make me nervous about this. 

"It can affect your ability to have children, make you depressed, it's just generally bad for you."

That was scary. I wanted kids. I'd always wanted kids. If I was with the right alpha. And Tommy was the right alpha. Knowing that I might not be able to give him children because I hadn't had enough selfawareness to realize that it had gotten so serious...

"That probably explains why you hadn't had a heat yet. It's been what, seven years since you were with your family and George? That's a long time. When you started trusting me and having some of your needs seen to, it probably put some things back to normal."

"You...Tommy, you don't think I won't be able to have kids, do you?" I pulled away from him, tears welling up. 

"Hey, don't cry. It's okay. You're fine, Newt. You're fine."

"You don't know that! What if I can't?" 

I might never have children. And not by choice. This couldn't be happening. Surely this was just a bad dream. It was just a dream. I was having a dream and I needed to wake up. I needed to wake up. Why wasn't I waking up? My breath quickened as I mentally yelled at myself to wake up. 

"NEWT." 

I flinched at the use of the alpha command. 

"I'm sorry I did that. You're not dreaming, you're panicking, okay? Just breathe. Look at me."

I'd said all that aloud?

"Yes, you did. You're in a panicked state and you've lost your brain to mouth filter. Look at me, okay?"

I did, meeting his amber eyes. Those pretty amber eyes. I felt calmer looking into them.

"I'm glad you do. Just keep breathing, okay? We can go to a doctor if you want to, but I'm sure you're fine. You just had a heat, remember?"

I nodded, letting out a breath and practically crumpling with relief.

"I've got you. You're okay." He cuddled me, nuzzling my cheek. I relaxed and dried my tears.

He'd taken me to maybe six different art supply stores to get the best quality items that I'd need to start painting. I'd tried to talk him out of it, but he'd insisted it was a present. We'd had tea and scones in a cute little tea parlor, his treat. It was late when we'd finally left town and headed home. He'd kept me close the whole way back and when we were going up to bed said,

"Newt...maybe we should share for a while."

My heart jumped a bit. "Yeah, okay." Sharing with Tommy? How could I turn that down? A small part of me reminded me that this was wrong, in a way. I was taking advantage of Tommy's kindness. I had feelings for him and he didn't know. He meant this purely platonically and I would be abusing that. 

But I pushed that part of me away and that was how Tommy and I came to share a bedroom. 

I pulled myself out of my memories. We'd shared a bedroom right up untill the accident. I'd moved my things back to my old room since then, to respect his privacy. Things were different now. I felt more tears building up and sat down against the wall, letting myself cry. Every thought I had just fueled my tears. I cried and cried and cried, until I was gathered into warm, strong, safe arms. I clung to Tommy and cried even harder. 

He let me sob into his shoulder for who knows how long. Every gasping breath I took was filled with his scent, his arms were around me, there were so many reminders of what I'd lost. I sank into desperation, gripping at him. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe!

"NEWT." 

I couldn't even respond to an alpha command. What was happening? I choked on air, of rather, lack of it.

Lips fastened over mine. Warm, soft, safe lips. Suddenly, I didn't need to breathe. I had this new world that didn't require oxygen. I had Tommy. Tommy, who was currently kissing me gently. His lips were so soft and warm. I could die this way, happily. I felt giddy, dreamy. Tommy was _kissing_ me. How long had I dreamed of this happening? 

Then the lips were gone and I opened my eyes. I was breathing. I was alive and breathing and Tommy was kneeling on the floor in front of me. I took a shuddering breath. We'd just...kissed. What did that mean? What had happened? Why was I okay now?

"How..." I trailed off. 

"One way to shake a panic attack is to hold your breath for a second. I couldn't get through to you to tell you. When I...kissed you...you held your breath." 

"Oh..."

"I'm sorry I alpha commanded you. That wasn't okay and I shouldn't done it. It won't happen again. And I'm so so sorry I kissed you. I couldn't think of anything else to do. I'm sorry. I know how you feel about me and that was not okay. I'm so sorry." 

I shook my head, trying to tear my gaze from his lips. Lips that had just touched mine moments ago. 

"It's fine. Thank you for helping me." 

"You're welcome." 

I didn't know what to do now. The air felt thick. I cleared my throat.

"I'm...I'm going to change," Tommy said, gesturing to his tear soaked shoulder. I blushed and mumbled an apology, but he'd already gone. 

I sighed. What was I supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I've got too many stories, seriously. I keep forgetting to update one or the other. I'm sorry I keep leaving you guys hanging. Hope you enjoyed this update. I think it's a little longer than most of my previous ones.


	19. Niggling

The little angel that resided with me was always checking up on me. Making sure I was warm and well fed. Bringing me cups of tea at all the right times without asking, cooking for me. And in the evenings, he'd read some book of literature aloud, lying sideways on his green velvet armchair with the three cats curled up on top of him. It was a beautiful sight. 

I had these little feelings sometimes, like "I should tell that to--" or "change the subject, that bothers--" and I knew it had to be Newt, but sometimes I would be somewhere random and have the feeling that something special had happened there. 

I went into the bookstore one day and Harriet smiled at me. 

"Hello, Thomas. Good to see you. Now, I happen to know he has his eye on this one, but I think he's telling himself it's out of his budget."

She held up a copy of Lorna Doone. I smiled. 

"He loves his books, doesn't he?" 

"He sure does. How's he getting on with all the Shakespeare?"

"I don't know. I'm sure I knew at some point, but I can't remember." 

"Oh, yes. I heard something about that. What happened?"

"My horse threw me and I hit my head. I can't remember much about the past few months. Nothing about him."

"Do you want to know why that's terrible?"

"Because I loved him?" 

She nodded, smiling sadly. "And I'm pretty sure he loves you."

"He said we're just good friends." 

That was the conclusion I'd come to. He'd said he loved me and kissed me, yes, but he was an omega, and upset. That combination could easily have led to a strong emotional response. He loved me as a friend.

I cursed myself for kissing him the other day. Yes, I'd done it to snap him out of a panic attack, but I'd still _kissed_ him, regardless. He'd had such a strange expression when I pulled away. I couldn't figure it out.

I smiled wanly at Harriet and told her I'd buy the book. It could be an apology of sorts. 

When I got home Newt was in the sitting room with the kittens, looking lonely. Very lonely. He looked like he hadn't slept at all. I was instantly concerned. 

"Newt? You okay?"

He shook his head. "I...could you hug me? Please? Just for a moment." 

I set the book down and went over to him. He stood up. I sat down where he'd been and pulled him into my lap. I nuzzled his soft blond hair and held him tightly. He sniffled and took a deep breath. 

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here. It's okay," I soothed. 

"Today...today is Sonya's birthday."

My heart shattered. Poor, poor, poor little Newt.

"We're going to find her, little one. You know that, right? We're going to find her."

"What if we don't? Or what if she's been hurt? My little sister, Tommy. What if someone's hurt her?" 

"Shh, breathe, sweetheart, breathe. It's okay. I've got you. We're going to find her, okay? She's going to be fine." 

He sobbed into my shoulder and I found myself quite unintentionally kissing the top of his head. He calmed down a little.

"You always do that when I'm upset."

"I do?"

"Mm-hm. It always helps, too. You're so good to me, Tommy. I don't deserve it."

"Why would you think that?" I asked. 

"Look at me, Tommy. Have you noticed the limp? Doesn't happen all the time, but it's there. We don't share a bed anymore, so you don't remember all the times you've woken me up from nightmares and I've been so scared I could barely breathe. It doesn't happen as much anymore, but it has happened. And you've always looked after me. Always. And I never told you why."

"And you don't have to. You don't have to share all your secrets with me." We'd shared a bed? I wondered why we weren't anymore. I wondered why we'd started in the first place. 

"I know about your mother."

I jumped a little. He pulled away enough to look at me. 

"You told me _everything_ , Tommy. Everything. Your hopes and dreams, your fears, bad memories. Everything. You trusted me with all that knowledge, and what did I give you in return for that trust? I evaded questions until you stopped asking them. It isn't fair to you."

"I don't care. You do know you're probably the only person who knows half of what I told you, right? If you aren't ready to share your story with me, don't worry. Maybe you will one day. But it doesn't matter. You're still just as dear to me without knowing."

"But I don't think I would be if you knew everything."

"I would. Trust me, I would."

He took a deep breath and looked me in the eye for a second before starting at his hands in his lap. "My father was an alpha, and my mother was an omega. They were disappointed in me from birth because I'm an omega, and they ha always wanted an alpha. They made that very clear over the years. They did the minimal amount of work they could to take care of me. When Sonya was born, another omega, things got bad. They started drinking, which led to gambling. They worked up debts and took it all out on me. Most of my childhood I was being beaten or forced to take care of the house. I started to like housework. The better job I did, the less angry they were. I love housework here, though, Tommy. Don't feel bad about me working. I love it. Anyway, one day I was outside with Sonya, and an alpha boy came up to the fence and said hello. It was George. He and I became very good friends. I'd sneak out at night and we'd meet in his treehouse. He taught me to read, and left me cookbooks. When my dad found out about our friendship he forbade me to see him any more and beat me. Badly. It was the worst beating I ever had."

I tugged him in, tightly hugging him and trying unsuccessfully not to growl or whine. I scented him, needing to feel him close, safe, protected, _mine_. 

"Tommy, off, can't breathe," he half gasped, pushing at me. I let go instantly, blushing. 

"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just...needed you close. I hate thinking about anyone hurting you. You're special to me. I will _wreck_ anyone who hurts you."

"Tommy," he mumbled, blushing. I cupped his cheeks, tilting his head up, and without premeditation, gave him a lingering kiss on the forehead. He let out a little sigh, relaxing. 

"I hate that they hurt you, but that doesn't change anything about how I feel about you. Other than to be proud to know someone so strong, who's still so loving and sweet after all that you've been through." 

Tears filled his eyes. "You don't know everything yet."

I kissed his forehead again and tucked his head into the crook of my neck, rubbing his back. He managed to calm down enough to talk again.

"I practically crawled to the treehouse and...and jumped out." I gasped. "I just couldn't...I couldn't take it anymore, Tommy. I just couldn't."

I held him tight, trying to imagine my life without him. Granted, I couldn't remember most of the time I'd spent with him, but the times I did remember, it was like he was essential to my life. He was my friend. My very close friend. He had made this gloomy old mansion into a bright, happy place. Somewhere I could enjoy living in. Did enjoy living in.

"I'm always here for you, Newt. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here," I whispered. 

"You don't hate me?"

"Of course not, little one. I'm glad you're here with me and that you're safe. I don't remember much about us, but I don't think I could ever hate you."

He sighed and snuggled closer. Poor little darling. 

"Thanks, Tommy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Niggle is such a weird word, isn't it? Niggle. Niggle niggle niggle.
> 
> I know this is ages later than I said it would be. I'm going to go ahead and say that I won't be able to update this until May. I've got too much going on in life atm. But I will be back! Promise.


	20. Malady

Tommy hadn't come down for breakfast. I'd waited half an hour, and I was starting to worry. I trotted upstairs and knocked gently on his door. I was adjusting to him not remembering me. I was a little more formal around him and a little less forward in my snuggling. I still made him tea whenever he needed it, whether he knew he did or not. I loved him. I'd do anything for him. 

And right now that meant checking on him. I heard a muffled groan and slowly opened the door. Tommy was still in bed, and he looked like he hadn't slept at all. I hurried to his side and lay a hand on his forehead.

"Hey there, angel," he said sleepily. 

I smiled at him. 

"Hey there. You're burning up, Tommy. I'm going to go get you some water and a cool cloth. You stay put, okay?"

"Mm."

I was as quick as I could be, and started a pot of water to boil before bounding back upstairs. He groaned when I opened the curtains, so I closed them again.

"Sorry," I whispered, laying the cloth across his forehead. He reached for my hand. 

"You'll get sick, too, Newt."

"No I won't, Tommy. I'm going to take care of you. Try to sleep, I'll be back soon."

I hurried to make him some broth, and let it cool enough to eat before taking it upstairs. Tommy was awake, and restless. 

"Newt, I feel awful," he said hoarsely. 

"I'm sorry, Tommy. It's going to be okay. I'll look after you. Let's sit you up a bit now."

I spoonfed him broth until he couldn't eat any more, and then dampened the cold cloth again. He seemed a bit better now. I snuggled up to him for a few minutes while he fell asleep, and then went to make ice cream. I knew Tommy was fond of it, and it would help his throat. I frequently checked on him, but he seemed to be sleeping contentedly. 

I wasn't expecting Minho to visit. He arrived at lunchtime, and announced his presence quite loudly. 

"Slim it!" I hissed. "Tommy's asleep. I think he's got the flu."

"Sorry," he stage whispered. "Anything I can do?"

"I don't know. I'm just going up to check on him. You can come with me if you want."

Tommy was thrashing in his sleep. I gently went to wake him.

When he vomited blood onto the floor, my heart stopped. 

"Minho, get the doctor," I whispered. 

"Newt," Tommy panted, reaching for my hand. I took it.

"I'm here. You're going to be fine," I soothed. "Minho, please go!"

He finally turned and left the room quickly. Please be quick. Please bring the doctor. 

"Shh, Tommy. Close your eyes. It's okay. Just lay back. Take deep breaths for me, okay?" 

"Need to see you."

I smiled at him and brushed some hair away from his forehead. 

"Okay then. But you have to lie back, okay?"

He did so, eyes never leaving mine. I tried to keep a positive, comforting expression, even though I was panicking inside. My heart was pounding. Something was very, very wrong with Tommy and I didn't know what to do. My only hope was that Minho would be quick, that the doctor would be available, and that he could get to Tommy in time to stop whatever was happening to him.

"So cold, Newt. It's so cold."

"Here," I said, pulling the blankets up over him. "Minho's gone for the doctor. You're going to be fine."

"Newt..." He looked at me with sudden clarity, a clarity I hadn't seen for a long time.

"I'm here."

"He can't touch you. He can't. You're taken."

"What?"

"He shouldn't have come over." His eyes clouded again.

"Tommy, what are you talking about?"

"Don't leave me," he whispered, a broken wisp of breath I almost missed.

"Never. I swear."

He relaxed, his eyes closing. Mine opened wide. 

"Tommy? Tommy!" 

I grabbed his wrist. There was still a pulse. Still a pulse. He was alive. I held his hand until Minho and Doctor Clint came in and they ushered me out. I paced the hallway in front of the door, and Minho joined me soon. He was pale. I tried to keep calm, but I was vibrating. With fear, with need to see him.

"When did this start?" Minho asked.

"He was a little feverish this morning. I made him broth, and he slept. I thought it was just the flu." 

I broke down into tears. Tommy had to be okay. He _had_ to be. He was my alpha, my one true love. The only one in the universe for me. Losing him would be like losing myself. I couldn't go on if I lost him. Amnesia was one thing, death was much worse, a possibilty I had never allowed myself to consider.

"I've gotcha," Minho said, holding me close. 

"I can't lose him. I can't." 

"He'll be okay." 

Clint had other news.

"It appears Thomas has contracted a virus known as the Flare." 

"No," Minho whispered. 

"What? What's the Flare?"

Clint looked down. 

"It's fatal...and there's no cure."

When I woke up, I was on the floor, Minho and Clint leaning over me. I tried to sit up, but they held me down, saying not to move.

"I'm fine," I said. 

Then I remembered. Tommy...

Tommy was going to...

No. He couldn't. He was mine. I loved him. I wouldn't let him. 

"There has to be something you can do!" I glared at Clint. "You can't just let him die!" 

I stood up, even though they tried to stop me. 

"There's an experimental cure, but it itself could kill him, and there's no guarantee it would cure him."

"Well try it!" I snapped. 

"I'd have to call in a specialist and it would cost thousands and thousands of credits, and they'l want it in advance." 

"We'll find a way," Minho said. "Try it."

Clint left and I found myself in the kitchen, making tea. 

"Newt?" Minho asked from the doorway.

I rushed to his arms, sobbing. 

"I can't lose him. He can't...he can't _die_! I need him. I _love_ him. Please. Please don't let him die. I can't..."

"Clint will do everything he can." 

"I can't access Tommy's money, Minho, I can't pay. They want it in advance," I gasped out. "I can't get the money." 

I pulled back and looked him in the eye. 

"If you can't get to it, I'll do anything." I took a breath. "Anything. I'll sell myself, anything."

"No! You are _not_ prostituting yourself. We'll find a way. I'll pay if I have to. It'll be okay."

"I'll do anything. I love him."

"I know. It'll be okay." He lay his hands on my shoulders. "I promise. And I always keep my promises."

***

Three days later found Minho, Teresa, Aris, Brenda, and I waiting anxiously in the sitting room with the kittens. Minho'd managed to get into Tommy's money, and though most of Tommy's inheritance was gone, the doctors were operating. 

I hadn't slept a wink. I couldn't, not while Tommy might be dying. I'd sat with him, holding his hand all night. Sometime's he'd seemed to recognize me, sometimes not. I'd cried all the tears I could. There was nothing left. 

Just emptiness. 

If I lost Tommy...

I'd jump again. 

I sat, dark thoughts swirling like smoke through the night sky. Only there were no stars, no moon. No lights. Only the darkness. The Void. 

Someone cleared their throat and I looked up. The specialist had come downstairs. 

"Please," I breathed.

"It appears we were successful. I think Thomas is going to pull through."

I started crying again, along with the others. But they could never know the relief I felt. Tommy would be okay. My one love was going to live. As soon as the others had gone home, I went up to Tommy's room. 

He was pale, and they had some sort of medication being fed into his body through a tube that went into his arm, but he was alive. I held his hand and cried. I didn't leave his side all night. 

It was a couple days before he opened his eyes and smiled at me, but I stayed with him, except to eat and drink the little I could stomach. 

"Newt," he whispered. 

"Tommy." I was crying again. 

"I'm okay," he said. "I"m okay. C'mere, little one."

Those words caused me such pain and happiness and relief and were an acute reminder of what I could have lost. I lay my head on his shoulder, letting him hold me while I sobbed my heart out. 

If I had ever doubted my love for Tommy, I didn't now. And I would never leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack! SO SO sorry for the long wait! I should have this wrapped up by the end of July, maybe even sooner!


	21. Healing

I was healing. I was healing quite quickly, really. Newt, on the other hand, looked like a ghost. He barely ate, though he cooked for me (and the numerous guests who came to see how I was doing) and cleaned and looked after me just the same as he always had. But it had been a week and a half since I'd woken up, and he looked like I was still unconscious.

He also seemed to never want to leave me alone. The night after I woke up I'd convinced him to get some sleep, and he'd reluctantly retreated to his room. Two nights later he came into my room in the middle of the night, looking lost, and whispered, "please?" I couldn't say no to that, and every night since he'd slept with his precious little blond head on my shoulder. I was just glad he was sleeping. 

Today I decided to talk to him about it. 

I found a good opportunity after breakfast when we went to sit on the balcony. He sat close to me, keeping a careful eye on me. 

"Newt, I'm fine. I promise."

He hung his head. "I'm sorry. I...I'm just worried. I thought you were going..."

"You thought I was going to die."

He nodded, tears welling up in his lovely eyes. 

"C'mere, little one." I patted my thigh. "It's alright."

He stood in front of me, and I pulled him into my lap despite his protests. "You aren't going to hurt me. And you aren't going to lose me. In another week, I'll probably be back to work. I don't want you to be scared for me all the time, okay? I'm fine. But I'm worried about you. You've barely eaten all week."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, I just want to help you. I'm not going to die, okay? I'm perfectly safe now. I promise. You don't need to be scared anymore."

"I just don't want to lose you." 

I pulled him right up against my chest and kissed the top of his head. 

"Sweetheart, you won't lose me. I promise."

He wrapped his arms around me and held me for a long time. As much as I said I was fine, I felt better with him close. There was just something about him that made me feel so relaxed and safe. Eventually, though, he pulled back, and he looked a lot better. His eyes were clearer, just sleepy rather than haunted.

"Do you mind if I take a nap?'

I smiled. "Of course not, little one."

"Come get me if you need anything." He yawned, but seemed determined to get an answer before he left. 

"I will. Sleep well," I said, mentally adding the 'darling' I so badly wanted to.

I soaked up some more sun and thought. One thing kept returning to my mind, and as hazy as it was, I was absolutely certain it was a memory from before the incident with the horse. 

_I walked down the hall towards the storage cabinet. The door was open, and I could hear some sort of activity, so Newt was bound to be in there. I stopped and was about to alert him to my presence when he turned around. He went pale and screamed. I tried to calm him down, apologising repeatedly for scaring him, but I sensed there was a deeper fear. So I cuddled him. When he told me what happened I was filled with rage, which ended up frightening him even more._

That had to be a memory. I wanted to ask Newt about it, but I couldn't bring myself to. I didn't remember anything else, and I didn't want to get his hopes up at my memories were returning. Right now I just wanted to make sure Newt never looked that scared again. 

I decided to take a trip to Denver soon and speak to Minho. I wanted to know where Gally was now.

A few days later I was stopping in front of Minho's office. The auction disturbed me as much as ever, but I felt that niggling feeling in the back of my mind again, as though I was trying to tell myself something had happened here. 

"Thomas, shouldn't you still be in bed?" Miinho asked as soon as I walked in.

"Newt thinks so, too. He wanted to come along today, but he said he had a lot of housework to do."

"What's the problem?"

"Where's Gally?" I sat down opposite him. "I don't remember, but I know he harassed Newt. What happened to him?"

Minho sighed. "I don't know."

"You don't know?! He scared Newt half to death and you don't know?!" 

"Slim it!" he shouted. "You think I'm happy about it?" He ran a hand over his face. "We put out a warrant for his arrest, but no one's been able to find him. There's a ten thousand credit reward for his capture, coming out of my own pocket, but he's disappeared. It's not like no one's looking. I've got every bounty hunter I know out looking for him."

***

I heard a knock at the door. I swallowed and went to answer it, not letting go of the skillet I'd been about to use to start Tommy's lunch. I always took precautions. I opened the door just a crack, holding my breath. The circumstances were so similar to that day. Tommy wasn't home, I was alone.

It was the mailman. 

I took the mail and handed him the letters Tommy had told me he wanted posted before he left for Denver. I flipped through the business letters until I came to a small off white envelope addressed to me. But it wasn't George's handwriting. 

I was curious and opened it.

_Newt,_

_I have your sister Sonya. Enclosed is a lock of her hair as proof. Meet me at the cafe in Glade at noon to discuss her purchase._

Sonya. They had Sonya. I tore the envelope to find a long silky lock of hair. Sonya's hair. The exact shade it had always been. I reread the note. The writing was familiar, but I couldn't place it.

However, I was supposed to meet them in twenty minutes. If I left now, I could probably walk to Glade in that time. So I left.

I walked briskly, and made it to the cafe in record time. I walked in the door and looked around for the person who'd written the note. And I saw them. It all fell into place. I ignored my pounding heart and forced myself to walk to the table in the back corner. 

"Gally," I said, my voice trembling. "Where is my sister?"

"She's perfectly safe. Now, you have two options. You alert everyone to the fact that I'm here and never find her, or you keep your pretty little mouth shut and we'll talk." 

"I'll talk," I said, gritting my teeth.

"Sit down."

I did, but I sat warily, ready to run.

"I propose a trade. You for her. She goes free and lives happily ever after, and you... well, you can guess. Or, you refuse and she'll take your place."

No. I couldn't let that happen to her. I couldn't. She was my sister. I loved her. I'd spent years and years praying that she was safe. I couldn't let that happen to her. Tears began to sting my eyes. 

"How long do I have to decide?"

"I'll give you twenty-four hours. If you agree, meet me in the clearing in the woods south of the common at nine in the evening. Now get out of here."

***

"Tommy?" Newt called from downstairs. 

"Up here!" 

He flew into the room, panting. He looked desperate.

"It's Gally. Gally has Sonya." 

"What?"

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and held it out to me. It was in Gally's handwriting, definitely. 

"You went to meet him? Newt, why would you do that?" 

Of all the reckless things to do, he'd gone to meet Gally while I had no idea where he was or what he was doing. If Gally had decided to kidnap him, there would have been no one to help him. And no one in Glade had recognized him? He'd lived there, for heaven's sake!

"I didn't know it was him until I got there. He's given me twenty-four hours to think it over. We have to do something. I won't let her get hurt. She's my baby sister."

"What did he say?"

"That he lets her go in exchange for me, or he does to her what he would do to me. I'm not letting that happen, Tommy. We have to come up with a plan." 

"Well, I'm not letting you get hurt."

"I know that!" he shouted, frustration radiating off of him. "But we have to save her. We go get Minho and his team. Surround the area, I go in as bait, and they close in and catch him. Something. Anything. But I won't let her get hurt."

"I'll write a note and send a rider to Denver. The carriage will take too long and I'm not leaving you alone. There's no telling what you'd get up to." 

He sank down onto the bed, tears sliding down his cheeks. 

"That's my sister, Tommy. I'd do anything for her."

I sat next to him and put my arm around him.

"It'll be okay, sweetie. I promise."

***

I hated this plan. I hated it with a passion. I hated it almost as much as I hated Gally. Minho had the clearing surrounded after he had confirmed that Gally and Sonya were in the clearing. Newt was going to go in alone, and once Gally had released Sonya, everyone closed in and nabbed him. 

There were too many things that could go wrong.

Minho waved to Newt. It was time. I bit my lip as I watched him walk away. 

He stopped in the clearing and Gally came out from behind a tree, dragging a girl with him. Sonya. I couldn't see her perfectly in the darkness, but she looked like Newt. This was the girl I'd been looking for for so long. And if everything went according to plan, she and Newt would be reunited tonight. 

Gally shoved Sonya to the ground and grabbed Newt. Minho blew a whistle. 

And then we were attacked. 

We'd been so focused on Gally that we hadn't paid enough attention to the rest of the forest, and we'd been snuck up on and jumped. My only thought was Newt. Gally had grabbed him. He could be gone by now. 

Minho and his people subdued the attackers and I rushed to the clearing. 

"Newt!"

"I'm here, Tommy." 

I turned. He'd hidden behind a tree. I rushed and hugged him tightly. He was here. He was safe. 

"He took Sonya. It didn't work, Tommy. She's gone. I..I failed her." 

I held him while he cried. 

***

I answered the door and collected the mail. It had been a week since Gally had escaped. Newt cooked and cleaned but there was no life behind it. He was grieving. 

Among the other letters, I found an envelope addressed to Newt, in Gally's handwriting. I hesitated to give it to him.

"Newt? There's something addressed to you. It's from Gally," I said gently. 

He tore the envelope from my hands and read it quickly. 

"Newt, I've sent her somewhere you'll never think to look. The never knowing what happened to her will hurt you worse than knowing she was with me. When you come to your senses, find me. I'll be waiting." 

"I'm so sorry." 

"No, it's alright. We'll find her. She's not with him. Anywhere's safer than with him." 

He looked up and smiled. 

"We're going to find her, Tommy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor little Newt. 
> 
> Well, my dad had a job interview day before yesterday. Wish us luck! This job would be a great improvement from the one he has now. :)
> 
> I've changed my deadline. I'm finishing this up before July 1st! Keep an eye out for the next chapter!


	22. Elapse

It had been nearly a year since Gally had sent that horrible note, and now Newt was leaving. He was still sad about losing his sister, but he'd put a lot of effort into trying to find her. He'd visited Minho quite often, hoping for any news, but there'd never been any. There were rumors that Gally had been seen in a pub in Denver, but they appeared to be just that. Rumors, nothing more. I'd often found Newt up past midnight, poring over the note, trying to figure out where the place he'd never think to look was. He rarely went into Glade, and when he did, it was with a stablehand or the coachman there to protect him, and he only ever went to buy supplies. He'd practically given up reading, and painting. On the occasions that he did read, it was one of the books we already owned. When he went into heat each month, he simply locked himself in his room. I felt terrible that I couldn't do anything to help him through it, although he insisted he was fine. His expression when he eventually emerged told me otherwise, however.

I'd found out the reason that we'd starting sharing a bed in the first place, and immediately felt terrible for not having asked sooner. At least I knew now. I made sure to give him extra hugs after that conversation. He repeated my own words from a long time ago back to me, saying that his heat cycle was perfectly normal, so he was in all likelihood perfectly fine. I was relieved.

We'd grown so close since my illness. We still shared a bed, we had ever since I'd woken up. I'd never gotten my memories back from before the accident, but we had become the closest of close friends. Last night I had realized that he had worked off the debt and was now free to leave. He would leave me and go to find his sister. 

And I had slipped out of bed and gone down to the sitting room and cried. I had cried my heart out. And sat there for hours by myself in the darkness, pleading with the world that it wasn't true that he was leaving. When the need to be close to him grew too insistent, I'd finally gone back to bed and held him while he slept peacefully, letting silent tears fall into his soft blond hair.

The truth was, I loved him. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and I didn't care how many times that had been said. It was true. Everything that I was loved and cherished that precious little omega. I didn't want to know what life would be like without his gentle smiles and him cuddled up to me at night while we slept. He'd made me whole again. I didn't want to let him go.

But they say that you can never truly love someone unless you're willing to make sacrifices for them. And my sacrifice was losing the one omega I'd ever loved. I had to let him go.

He was upstairs packing, I was sure. I sat glumly in the sitting room, cuddling his cats. Would he take them with him? Would I be left completely alone? 

I heard footsteps and looked up. Newt was standing in the doorway with his suitcase, looking absolutely lovely and unattainable. His lovely brown eyes were downcast. He cleared his throat.

"I...I guess I'm going." 

The words hurt me deeply, but I kept myself from hanging my head and managed to nod. 

"I'll miss you." The words were steady, but inside I was on my knees pleading for him to stay.

"I'll miss you, too, Tommy." How I'd miss that nickname. I never let anyone else call me that, but it was Newt. Sweet, precious little Newt with his adorable accent. How could I dislike the nickname when it came from him? 

"Where are you going to go?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe to my old home. I'll see if my parents are still there, or at least if anyone knows if they're still alive. With their way of living it's quite possible they passed away years ago. Then I'll go to George's, probably. He may know someone who could use a housekeeper. Or maybe he does. I'm not sure." 

I nodded. We sat in silence for a moment, the clock the only sound. A reminder that every tick or tock was a second closer to him leaving me forever. The air felt heavy. I swallowed before I said the words,

"I'll walk you out."

He nodded. I walked with him, slowly. It would only keep him here for a few seconds longer, but they were a few seconds out of eternity. They mattered. I didn't want him to go. We stood on the gravel outside the door for a moment. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Newt, please stay." - "Well, I should go." 

We stared at each other. 

"I'm sorry, I know you want to leave, but I really don't want you to. I'll miss you so much. I need you. I don't know how to get along without you. If not for forever, stay a little longer, please. Figure out where you're going. I hate to think of you out on your own. I don't want you to get hurt."

"You don't want me to go?" he asked, confused.

"Yes, and it's wrong of me to try and stop you after everything I've always said, but it's the truth. I don't want you to leave." 

"I don't want to leave."

"What?"

"I really don't want to go, Tommy. It's always seemed like I would, but I don't want to. I love it here. It's the one place I've ever felt safe. The place I have friends who care about me. And you. I thought that our agreement was final, though. I was only meant to stay long enough to repay you." 

I crossed the room and hugged him. And held him close. 

"Don't go, Newt. Stay here. I'll give you wages if it makes you feel better, whatever you want, just don't go. I need you here."

He dropped the suitcase and wrapped his arms around me with a sigh. We stood in each others arms for several long minutes. 

"Then I'm going to go put my stuff back upstairs and we're making brownies. No arguments," he said, voice muffled by my shoulder.

I chuckled. 

"Definitely no argument from me. I'll help you."

He was staying. I thanked whatever forces were at work to keep us together. He was staying. The grin didn't leave my face all day, and Newt wore a very similar one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I feel awful today. BUT - here's a purely happy (kinda filler) chapter. Two more and we're done!


	23. Rememberance

Two weeks after Newt had decided to stay, we were in Glade together. It was our first trip to town since then, and we were looking forward to spending the day having fun. Newt had said he wanted to go somewhere secret to get me a surprise, and we'd agreed to meet up at the bookshop in twenty minutes.

My first stop was Teresa and Aris's clothes shop. I'd torn my favorite coat and needed to replace it. I explained the situation to Aris.

"You know what? Why don't you bring in the coat, and I'll make you an exact replica?"

"Can you?"

"Course I can, Thomas." He rolled his eyes. "I've just got to copy the pieces and sew them together. I do that all the time."

"That'd be great! I'll bring it in next week."

I left the shop and started towards the bookstore.

I heard a terrified, desperate scream from down the street. My heart dropped. Newt! I ran towards the sound, scattering confused people left and right. I skidded around a corner. Another scream ripped the air. I ran faster, a million dark possibilities running through my head. What if I was too late, what if Newt was being molested? Finally, I rounded a corner and found Gally wrestling with Newt. He'd ripped Newt's shirt and pinned him to the ground, and was trying to do more. 

I let out a yell and tackled Gally. I started beating him mercilessly. My hands started bleeding and I didn't even care. Newt was mine. From the moment I saw him at the auction I'd been drawn to him. I remembered how he'd cried in the carriage. How he'd been so nervous and scared and shy. How I'd fallen in love with his little smile and the way he loved to read. His excitement when I brought him a new book. I remembered how I'd run to Minho when I'd gotten so terribly jealous of Alby. I remembered how Newt would make me late night cups of tea and was always there if I needed to talk. I remembered telling him about my mom. I remembered when he first went into heat. I remembered, and that made me hit even harder. No one hurt my omega. No one.

"STOP!" someone screamed in my ear, and I felt myself being dragged off him. I struggled against them until I saw the bloody mess that was Gally. He was dead. I felt a bit stunned, but not remorseful. I'd defended my omega. It was the right thing to do.

I turned to whoever had pulled me away from him. It was Minho. I stared at him for a second, then remembered Newt. I looked around for him frantically. He was huddled against a wall, crying. I rushed to him.

"I'm here, I'm here. You're safe, little one. It's all over. I'm here. I'll take care of you. You're safe now." 

He shied away at first and looked at me as if he hardly knew me.

"It's Tommy, precious. Your Tommy. I'm here. I've got you, little one."

"Tommy," he sobbed, eyes clearing a bit.

He pressed himself against me. I picked him up and carried him to the carriage and we started home. I'd deal with everyone else later. Right now the most important person in the world was upset and I needed to help him. He sat on my lap, pressing close. 

"I remember, little one," I said, softly.

He looked up, breath catching.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Everything." I took a deep breath. "I fell in love with you, Newt, and when I lost my memories I fell in love with you all over again. I think that no matter what happens to me, I'll always fall in love with you."

He leaned towards me tearfully, and our lips met. I was gentle, so so gentle, knowing he needed that right now. Need reassurance, protection. Love. His lips were so soft. I felt like I could lose myself in the feeling of him and never return. I loved this little angel so much. My little angel.

"I love you, too," he breathed as he pulled away. 

I held him close. Somehow everything was different now. Even the simple act of hugging him. It meant so much more now. I loved him, and against all the odds, he loved me too. I wasn't just hugging my friend. I was hugging the omega I'd waited for my entire life. The one who loved me for me, and not my money or social status. He looked so tired, and so scared. I kissed him again before helping him out of the carriage and into the house. I carried him up the stairs and lay him down in our bed before climbing in beside him. He snuggled up to me with a sigh, shaking a little. 

"I want to be yours, Tommy." 

I was filled with elation at those few words. Everything I'd ever dreamed of in life was right here beside me. An omega I loved and who loved me in return. An omega who genuinely wanted me. The one person I felt comfortable sharing all my secrets with. The most beautiful omega in the world. 

"I want to be yours, too." 

We kissed again, and it was just as overwhelmingly perfect as it had been before. I held him close, slipping my hand under his shirt at the small of his back. His skin was so warm, so soft. I wanted to worship every inch of it, but now was not the time. Now was the time for comfort and safety. Passion and claiming could wait a while longer.

We lay cuddled up like that for a long time. Until I heard a knock on the bedroom door, in fact.

"Thomas? Newt?" It was Minho's voice.

"Do you want to wait in here, sweetheart?" I murmured to Newt.

"No, I'll come with you. Let me put on a different shirt, though."

"One moment!" I called to Minho.

He hopped up, pulled a shirt out of my closet and changed quickly. I averted my eyes as best I could. When he'd changed he took my hand and we went to the door. 

Minho looked us over worriedly. 

"You two okay?"

Newt nodded. 

"I am now. I'm just a bit shaken."

"My left hand may be broken, but other than that I'm fine."

Newt instantly started fussing over me and dragged us downstairs to the kitchen, where he gently washed the blood from my hands and put ice on my injured wrist. 

"What happened to Gally?" I asked.

"They took him to hospital. He's still alive, but barely. He may not make it, but if he does, he's in for several years in prison and heavy fines."

Newt looked at me funny.

"You nearly killed him?"

"He was going to rape you, Newt. You're mine. I had to protect you."

Newt's eyes flickered to my lips a few times before he leaned in and kissed me. He kept on kissing me until Minho coughed. 

"Look, I get that you guys are madly in love and have like a years worth of tension built up, but we do have some serious problems on our hands."

Newt blushed beautifully and sat back down. 

"Thomas, you may face charges. Since Gally broke a restraining order and tried to kidnap and rape Newt, your actions should be considered defense of your property, sorry, Newt, but there's a possibility they may let him off a little bit since you caused so much damage. However, he can't escape prison. We already have a warrant. We'll see if he lives. If he doesn't, you're likely to be fined, but there's also the possibility that you could be imprisoned."

Newt gasped, grabbing my hand. 

"You'll help him, though, won't you? You won't let them--"

"--Calm down, Newtie. Nothin's going to happen to your shuck lover boy. Now, we need to get witnesses and evidence, which shouldn't be too hard. I'm pretty sure everyone in town heard that banshee shriek of yours, and most of them saw the struggle. Remind me not to sneak up on you, you'd probably bust my shuck eardrums."

"You're sure you can help him, though? He won't go to prison?" Newt was frowning worriedly. He looked at me with an expression that was painful to see.

I rubbed my thumb over Newt's hand. "It's okay, precious, try to calm down, okay?"

"It's not okay, Tommy! You aren't going to bloody prison because of me, ya hear? They can't do that!"

"He won't go to prison, Newt. I keep my promises, remember?" Minho said.

Newt stared at him for a moment, then dropped his head and nodded. 

"Thank you," he said softly.

"Again, no thanks required." 

I got the feeling I was out of the loop. Something had happened between these two that they hadn't told me. Something important, I was almost sure.

Minho cleared his throat. 

"On another note, there's someone here to see you, Newt."

"Who?" 

"In the sitting room." 

I frowned at Minho, who huffed exasperatedly and threw his arms in the air.

"It's not someone who's going to hurt him. You really think I'd let that happen? I'd rather not be beaten nearly to death! I just think he should go see them alone. It'll be a personal sort of meeting. Newt probably doesn't want anyone intruding."

Newt looked wary, but he left the room. Minho stopped me from following him. 

"It's Sonya," he whispered.


	24. Bonding

I stopped in my tracks. 

"Sonya?" I whispered.

She nodded, eyes shining with tears. She crossed the room and hugged me tight. I held her close. This was real. Sonya was here. Right here. She was safe. 

"I've missed you so much," she said. 

"I've missed you, too."

I choked up. Sonya. 

"Where've you been?"

"Harriet at the bookstore bought me. I had no idea where I was, but then she told me her friend Newt had been attacked in the street and I realized. She let me come up with Minho." 

"Harriet?" 

"Yeah."

Harriet had had Sonya all along. If only I'd said something, gone back to the shop. 

"She's been good to me, don't worry," she said, pulling back. I noticed the blush. 

"You like her, don't you?"

"Love her to pieces. But what about you? Are you okay? What happened?"

"Gally attacked me. Tommy got there in time to stop him. I'm so sorry. If I'd just gone down there, I would've found you."

"It's fine, Newt. As long as you're safe, I don't care how long we were separated. Although I'm glad to have you back." She smiled. 

"I love you so bloody much," I said, hugging her again.

We sat down and talked. Sonya had been sold two years after I was, to a beta couple who wanted a housekeeper. She'd been passed around privately for a few years before she was sold to a dealer in a town called Topeka. Then she'd been carted around until Gally bought her. After our catasrophic rescue attempt, he'd quickly hired an agent who sold her to Harriet. And there she'd been, happy and safe other than the fact that she had no idea where I was and if I was okay. 

I introduced her properly to Tommy, and they got along quite splendidly. I was buzzing with happiness. Tommy had his memories back, Tommy _loved_ me, Gally had been caught, and I had my sister back. Could life possibly get any better?

 

***

 

It had. Tommy and I bonded, a gentle, love-filled night that left a memory I cherished and a bond I held even dearer. Tommy was the perfect bondmate. Not much had changed in our relationship, just a lot more cuddling, kissing, and, of course, making love. We started up our picnicking tradition again, and going to the bookshop. 

Sonya stayed with Harriet, which made me happy. She was close by, and had someone she loved who loved her in return. We spent a lot of Thursday afternoons reading together. George came to see us ocassionally, as did Minho and even Alby sometimes. Every other week we had dinner with Harriet, Sonya, Teresa, Aris, Brenda and her boyfriend, and Minho, who began to complain about not having a significant other.

Gally had been tried, found guilty, and was in prison for life. Tommy hadn't been fined or anything, which relieved me. And I wasn't scared to go to town on my own anymore. 

Tommy had explained the whole Brenda thing when I worked up the courage to ask him. They'd known each other since they were kids, and he'd had a crush on her for a year or so before he'd left home, but eventually had decided they would be better as just friends. Besides, he was starting to think he liked boys more. 

 

***

 

"Now, I happen to know that you've always wanted kids. Don't try to deny it, I remember how upset you got when you were worried you couldn't have any."

I looked up from where my head was pillowed on Tommy's lap. "Where is this going?" I asked, blushing. I set my book down and shooed Missy off my chest. She was too fluffy to be doing that all the time. I just got too hot. 

Tommy smiled down at me.

"You are so bloody cute." 

I rolled my eyes, hiding a grin in my hand. 

"So you keep saying. And I don't think you saying 'bloody' will ever stop being funny." 

"I don't know why you and Sonya think it's so funny. But, really Newt, do you want to have kids?"

I blushed even harder. 

"Yeah," I said faintly. I hadn't expected this conversation to happen for another couple of years, if ever. Tommy had never really said anything about wanting kids.

"Not until you're absolutely ready, of course, but I've been thinking about it lately. We've got plenty of room, and since we made those improvements to the tenants' homes, the farmers' health is better and the profits have nearly tripled. We have no shortage of money from that, and we have my inheritance." He smiled. "Besides, who wouldn't want a bunch of kids who look like you running around. You must've been adorable." 

I raised an eyebrow. 

"Not that you aren't adorable now, sweetie." He kissed my forehead. 

I chuckled. 

"Well?" he asked, a little hesitant.

"I think you'd make a wonderful father," I said, smiling. 

"Oh. When you put it that way I feel incredibly old." 

I laughed. 

"You're twenty-four, Tommy." 

"Stop! I'm ancient."

I smiled at him fondy. There's a lot more smiling now. It's nice. 

"I love you," I said. 

"I love you, too." 

I sat up so he could kiss me. I didn't think that kissing Tommy would ever fail to take my breath away. I leaned against him with a sigh. 

"I love you." 

"You just said that."

"I know, but I do. I really, really love you. My Tommy. My alpha." 

"My little Newt."

"Kids, then?"

"Mm-hm." 

I grinned. Everything was perfect. Everything was so perfectly perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your support! AND THE NEAR 5,000 HITS! WOW! I hope you enjoyed this story. :D


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